Why do I have to live each day of my life feeling like such a freak? It's not enough that I'm bisexual and that I'm shunned by many, many people as a result of that, and it's not enough that I have a crush on one of my female professors (I'm a junior in college), and I recently found out from one of my classmates that she (the professor) is married with kids, which is a huge letdown (not that I would have acted on my feelings towards her, but you know how crushes are). No, that's not enough. I also have to have social anxiety that's so severe that I get absolutely exhausted every day from doing things that normal, non-socially-anxious people take for granted. Like today, I had to take a final exam, which in itself was stressful enough, but simply being in a classroom full of other students was (and is always) enough to tire me out. Why do I have to have so many goddamned struggles in my life? Wouldn't it be enough to just be bisexual or to just be extremely socially anxious? I don't fucking get why I had to be born as such a screw-up. If there is a divine creator out there, he/she must have wanted me to fail in life, or else he/she wouldn't have made it so difficult for me to actually get through life. Why do I have to keep trying, since I know I'm just going to end up failing like I have already hundreds of times before? Why can't I just take the coward's way out and kill myself? Oh, that's right, it's because I'm too fucking scared to kill myself, which means that I have to stay in my garbage dump of a life until I die of natural causes. Goddamnit, I fucking fail at life.