*sigh*

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by the_failure, May 12, 2009.

  1. the_failure

    the_failure New Member

    Why do I have to live each day of my life feeling like such a freak? It's not enough that I'm bisexual and that I'm shunned by many, many people as a result of that, and it's not enough that I have a crush on one of my female professors (I'm a junior in college), and I recently found out from one of my classmates that she (the professor) is married with kids, which is a huge letdown (not that I would have acted on my feelings towards her, but you know how crushes are). No, that's not enough. I also have to have social anxiety that's so severe that I get absolutely exhausted every day from doing things that normal, non-socially-anxious people take for granted. Like today, I had to take a final exam, which in itself was stressful enough, but simply being in a classroom full of other students was (and is always) enough to tire me out. Why do I have to have so many goddamned struggles in my life? Wouldn't it be enough to just be bisexual or to just be extremely socially anxious? I don't fucking get why I had to be born as such a screw-up. If there is a divine creator out there, he/she must have wanted me to fail in life, or else he/she wouldn't have made it so difficult for me to actually get through life. Why do I have to keep trying, since I know I'm just going to end up failing like I have already hundreds of times before? Why can't I just take the coward's way out and kill myself? Oh, that's right, it's because I'm too fucking scared to kill myself, which means that I have to stay in my garbage dump of a life until I die of natural causes. Goddamnit, I fucking fail at life.
     
  2. the_failure

    the_failure New Member

    I see how it is. Plenty of people care enough to read my post, but no one at all cares enough about me to actually respond to my post. Thank you for just adding to my hatred of the human race.
     
  3. CCK

    CCK Well-Known Member

    You don't really have it that bad. I know how hard it is dealing with sexuality issues but at least your identity hasn't been irreparably shattered. Social anxiety really sucks, I have trouble in social situations as well... they kind of just sap your energy you know?
     
  4. the_failure

    the_failure New Member

    If you knew the amount of stress I have to endure every day, you wouldn't be saying that I "don't really have it that bad." Thanks, though, for responding. I do appreciate that.
     
  5. CCK

    CCK Well-Known Member

    I understand... and I'd love to be in your position. Your problems could be worse. Your situation sucks, and I can't deny that, but take some solace in that bisexuality is relatively well accepted by society and that social anxiety isn't your fault.