Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Scars and Memories, Jun 10, 2009.

  1. Scars and Memories

    Scars and Memories Account Closed

    I think I'm a worthless piece of shit, because people always treat me like that. I'm always afraid of what people think about me, and that I will do something stupid. I always get disappointed. I don't know why it still bothers me, I should be a hard and cold person because of what people did to me. But instead I care more and more. I suck! My self esteem is as low as it gets, even on forums I think I have nothing worthwile to say and people think I'm stupid and boring. I don't even have online friends, because I'm so shy I can't talk to people through PMs. The only thing that helps is alcohol, but with my medication I can't take it and I can't always be drunk. I hate to feel lonely I always feel lonely I'm always looking for attention, especially online. I love attention and I often complain about cutting and suicide just to get sympathy. In other words I'm a pathetic loser :/ I guess it always be the same, untill one day I actually do have the guts to commit suicide. But I don't think I'll ever be at that point where I've lost all faith in the world and the people...
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: I can relate to your post.

    I don't know you all that well but I do know that you aren't worthless, stupid or boring.
    I think its your confidence that needs to be worked at. Counselling could possibly help with that? Have you tried it?
    Alcohol isn't the road you wanna go down, trust me!! Been there,done that, wore the t-shirt. Because of alcohol no one is talking to me atm.
    Is the medication helping you at all? What was the medication prescribed for?
    You're not a pathetic loser, when we are feeling lonely and isolated we all need attention.

    I hope you feel better soon, you can PM me if you'd like to talk. :)
  3. NotSureAnymore

    NotSureAnymore Well-Known Member

    I agree with Daisy. You only do things that will make you feel better. We do some crazy shit when we're in pain. You're only human.
  4. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    That is indeed a shame :/ I think everyone here is right. You just...need to change your thinking. It's compulsive. It takes practice, but you'll get it. I know cuz I wasthe same way, and I changed :) I have faith in you <3
  5. Scars and Memories

    Scars and Memories Account Closed

    I have councelling but it's not helping and she blames me she says she does all the work and I'm lazy >< I'm on Lexapro for 3 weeks now but it doesn't do anything yet, and I can't take it much longer.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Aww hun :hug:

    Your counsellor shouldn't be blaming you. :sad:

    Please talk to her and tell her how you feel about this. Try and hold on until the lexapro kick in,it should only take another 2-3 weeks, until then..we'll be here for you :arms: