I honestly don't know what to do i can't seem to find a purpose in life. It seems that I've honestly lost faith in everything. Nothing sounds appealing and when I think about what could make me happy I draw a blank. Sure im lonely lol would be nice to have be with someone but I don't think that would even help me. Out of all the girls I grew up with most of them are pregnant or are complete sluts that would sleep with anyone. The sad part is from my experience that seems to describe almost all girls now and thats really fucked up. I't makes me wonder what the hell happend to all the nice ones. Also I've noticed that im always irritable sometimes when my parents talk to me about random stuff I get angry or annoyed for no apparent reason I don't understand it at all. My relationship with them has suffered a lot and I try and fix it but It just doesn't work im really getting fed up with this shit. I just feel like im standing still that nothing is ever gonna change or get better. I want to move out and get away but its impossible to get a job my brother is trying to get me on with him were he works but that probably wont happen for 3+ months. I dunno what the fuck to do im just getting so so so fed up with this shit. I've dealt with depression for as long as i can remember and for the last year or so I've been considering suicide and its always gets worst at night.. I don't know whats holding me back from doing it I've come close quite a few times but something I can't explain keeps me from doing it. I'm just so confused and tired of all this shit I don't know what to do I just really feel like ending it right now.