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Sorry I havn't been coming on lately my friend from california is staying with me so I dare not risk letting him see this site. This week has just gone by soo shitty though. The girl I like isn't talking to me. I don't understand what she wants, she goes and she'll talk to every guy but me. I don't even know if she thinks we are still "a thing". I AM SO FUCKING CONFUSED!!!!! I've been smoking weed excessively this past week. I can't handle all these feelings anymore. they are just so fucking overwhelming. Its like that song by tupac "Changes"-
"I see no changes. i wake up in the morning and i ask myself
is life worth living should i blast myself? "
i havnt even been wearing my seat belt when i drive, just so if i am by chance i am in an accident hopefully ill die. God damn high school fucking sucks. I hate being here, I hate being alive. People are too inconsiderate of my feelings. I know im a fuck up and i probably dont deserve most of the people around me, but fuck i dont know who's signature this is and im not sure if its exactly right but its so true
"When I don't deserve you
Is when I need you the most"
Im really sorry to whosever sig that is. People see me mopey and theyll laugh and say having a "michael moment there mopey michael?" and they can not fucking see that all they are doing is making me feel worse. I dont ask for much, all i need from people is a couple of fucking steps, i just need them to walk to me, make me feel like i fucking matter. Im just fed up with all my stress. I want a good night sleep, i want a pleasant dream, i just want to be fucking happy. i need someone to care for me
I'm really sorry for the super ramble but ive been going nuts here and i miss you guys
:hug: Sounds like it has been a tough week. I am glad to see you back, and posting how you feel. I am sorry you are not happy with high school and life in general. You friends should listen to you. You may let to need them know that just maybe you are hurting and you would like to be able to talk about it instead of teased about it. Is there anyone else around you can talk to about how you feel? You know that we are here for you. We will offer support in any way we can. You do have friends here. Take care and keep posting so we know how things are going. :hug:
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