Be strong as you can be, and for the rest, absorb some of our group strength and support. It's tough ending a relationship; so many routines and habits are no longer there, and your brain, to say nothing of your heart, has to form new pathways over the old... and the renovation is hard to live with.:sad: :blink:
sending you lots and lots of hugs and love and hope,
I don't want you to die.:sad: I want you to find a way to lessen your pain, but not by dying. I cannot help you with concrete things, but can offer a listening ear, a loving heart, and embracing arms (from across the country or the world) and the willingness to put myself in your place.
Please be gentle with yourself. You are as fragiile, as strong, and as valuable as any living being. I send love and hugs and hope.
julia came back tonight with her dad, and told me that n the advice of her soicitor she was going to stay with her parents. she took some stuff and left.
more our parents are compete assholes as is one set out grandparents, the other have always been nice but tonight we phoned them to tell them about all this and julia had already called them and bitched at them.
they said they didn't want to have anything to do with us and that we were "problems" they said (to sarah) it was sarah's fault that all this had happened.
we have £5 in cash, £33 on the electricity meter, and food in the house but as soon as any of those run out we're screwed. i'm to have to walk 6 miles into town tomorrow to try and get some advice.
the bank won't give me an overdraft.
the landlord is apparently going to come round and tell us we have to get out.
officially no one cares if we die or not.
now i know that people here will say "i care" thats all they ever do tho, no one is going to offer us a place to stay, or lend us some money. and why would you, you don't know us, you don't owe us anything, when you go to sleep tonight you'll forget out us.
i have no reason to live and every reason to die, we have no support, its my fault that sarah is in this mess, i've destroyed her life in the process of destroying my own.
PLease don't do anything irreversable. I understand that you feel like you're at the bottom of a deep deep hole right now and that things will never get better... but that's "right now". Things CAN get better, it just takes time and patience, neither of which you feel like you have right now. But please please hang on. I can't do anything 'actual' to help you but I can empathize with your pain and send you positive energy all the way to where you are. Thought travels faster than light, you know.
Please care for yourself. Your life has meaning and value, even if you don't see it at the moment.
I know things look to be at the bottom for you right now. Then I guess the only way they should be able to go is up. Well, with the difficulties you are facing. I cannot promise that they will not get worse before they get better. But they can and will improve with time. You need to do the best you can to survive right noe. Lean on your sister and she can lean on you. Together you can be strong. All of this will come to an end and you can pick up thepieces, put your life back together in a new and improved way. Shape and mould it into what you would like it to be. Stay strong. Please stay safe. Take care. :hug: