First up, Theres no need to respond (or read further than this) Theres nothing important here. I honestly do not know what to do with myself anymore. I can't tell the professionals what is going on, so I might as well just give up and soon. I'm constantly planning, if one attempt fails then thats it i'll create another plan. I have what I need, hell I have what I need for more than one attempt. Caleb needs me, I've been seeing him lately - he's been coming to visit and he needs me. Why wouldn't anyone jump at the chance to 1) end all their pain and 2) See their best friend once again. I can hear him right now, he's calling to me...the angels are all calling for me, attempting to 'sing me to sleep' as it were. Things at home at the moment are pretty bad, me and my mom always in a constant argument with one another. Its driving me insane and I know its driving her insane. I just dont have a clue what to do, so ugh! What is the point in it all anymore?! Exactly, there isn't one. I'm some fat ugly bitch who has nothing going for her here, when I could end it and have everything just like he has promised.