I don't understand the world anymore, how life works, how people work. What's the point of going through all this suffering. I can't take it anymore, too much sadness, too much pain. It's a lie that life is beautifull, life is nothing but suffering. Wish I could just end myself now, but I can't. It's not that I can't, I could right now, but I believe I still have purpose, dunno whatever it is. It's just getting worse and worse, when will the crying stop? Wish I could give my life to her. If she passes away, I give up, not by suicide or anything but give up on life. I dunno, wish this nightmare just ended.