Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by toshi, Mar 21, 2012.

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  1. toshi

    toshi Well-Known Member

    hi. it's my birthday today, but to be honest, I feel awful. I feel old, alone, unemployed, insignificant, and afraid. I never thought I'd live this long - I never WANTED to live this long. I guess I go on because I'm too scared to check out by my own hands. It's awful to feel this way everyday..but I do. I have no choice but to put on a "good face" and try to move on...if I don't it will cause a situation in which EVERYONE will know how much of a failure I've become, and I don't want to live with that shame. *sigh* Maybe it'll be better tomorrow, I don't know...but tomorrows are becoming "just other days".
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I'm sorry you're feeling so low on your birthday. :( Feeling alone is a horrible feeling. Does talking online help? Might be worth trying to make some friends that way, at least it's a start.

    And happy Birthday, even though I know you're not feeling so well. I hope things do get easier tomorrow. :hug:
  3. toshi

    toshi Well-Known Member

    thank you.
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni


    Know how you feel, birthday's seem to get harder and harder........SO

    treat yourself to something nice, a take-away, a film you wanted, book, bottle of wine......
    Sit back and enjoy!

    oh and :welcome:
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Happy Birthday!!!
    Life changes go up and down like a roller coaster. Hang in for the ups.
  6. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    happy b-day. life sux. but it doesn't hurt to try and make it otherwise, goodluck!
  7. Lazy Horizon

    Lazy Horizon Member

    Happy Birthday.
    I've felt that way on some birthdays before. The thing is, I did it to myself. I chose to be alone on my birthday and wallow in my own misery.
    You don't have to do that, but if you do want to be alone, there must be something that would bring you at least some peace for this important day.
    I know we all have our own reasons to feel the way we do, and if it were up to us completely, we would forget our pain and live happily. Move on so to speak.
    Unfortunately it takes time to progressively get better. It's hard to take my own advice sometimes but I think you should reward yourself on your birthday.
    Don't do what I did. Start somewhere and today is the perfect day to start. Happy Birthday and with what pain you have inside yourself, try to nudge something
    hopeful, joyful or calming in. You deserve it on this day and do know that you are not alone. I'm having a bad day too, but I'm trying to make it better. You should too!
    Cheers and have a happy birthday.
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Happy Birthday Mark!! I am sorry to hear you're feeling so low on your special day. I felt awful on mine too...many people forgot, and no one celebrated it with me. To me it was special that I stayed alive another year, since I was planning to end it before my birthday. Even if it's not been a great day, you should do something that you will enjoy, because it's your day. I hope that you will feel better soon.
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