Signs that you are an internet addict..

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Spikey, May 1, 2008.

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  1. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

    Signs that you are an Internet Addict

    1.) You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

    2.) You step out of your room and realize that your parents have
    moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened.

    3.) Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.

    4.) Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.

    5.) You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,
    like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

    6.) You start introducing yourself as "Jim at net dot com"

    7.) Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you
    see a new WWW site address on TV.

    8.) You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can
    hear if new e-mail arrives.

    9.) Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you
    of what she looks like.

    10.) All of your friends have an @ in their names.

    11.) When looking at a web page full of someone else's links,
    you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.

    12.) Your dog has its own home page.

    13.) You can't call your mother... She doesn't have a modem.

    14.) You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you
    check it again.

    15.) Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick.

    16.) You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

    17.) You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends,
    because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

    18.) Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.

    19.) You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and
    check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

    20.) You tell the kids they can't use the computer because
    "Daddy's got work to do" -- even though you don't have a job.

    21.) You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

    22.) Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

    23.) You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with
    Netscape 3.0 or higher."

    24.) You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your
    ISP... because you never log off.

    25.) The last girl you picked up was only a GIF.

    26.) You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the
    chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

    27.) Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...
    so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so
    the two of you can chat.

    28.) As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain
    road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
  2. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

  4. Canti

    Canti Guest

    I wake up and instantly think of the computer. All i want is that connection to the world. It makes me feel more valid, like i have friends. And yes before anyone points out i know noone here is my friend but its nice to pretend.

    Before i had the internet and when ive been without it, ive done some produtive things. Go for walks, play guitar, talk to people i could actually physicaly touch if i for some reason felt the urge. But now i have the net again its like none of these things are worth doing. I havnt properly been outside for about 5days now.

    The internet is the bane of my life.. but i´d have it no other way (i dont know why though).
  5. music

    music Well-Known Member

    when you know what this means


    for($mylife = 30; $mylife < 1; $mylife--){
    echo "$mylife days left of life";

  6. Agrigor

    Agrigor Active Member

    Really good, and I am an addict. When my DSL line by the router broke I moved all my hardware downstairs just to get back on the internet.

    One problem though:

    16.) You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

    This makes no sense. Just because something is in HTML format does not mean it is being hosted by any internet servers. I have made HTML documents so they were easy to view in a browser but having not hosted it, a URL couldn't find it anywhere but on my computer.

    It should really be replaced with

    16.) You turn your PC into an Apache Server to host your homework and send your instructor the link.

    Oh yes, I understand the thing above. Not familiar what language uses that syntax, but the function names are clear enough... What language is that?
  7. music

    music Well-Known Member

  8. :biggrin: (yep - I'm one)

  9. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

  10. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

  11. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm a suicide forum addict.
  12. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

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