I am really at the end of my rope right now. I have been pretty majorly depressed the last couple years,but the last couple of weeks I feel like im being shown more and ore signs that Im not supposed to be here anymore. Im about to lose my second job in six months,my nursing license is in jeopardy b/c of the first job loss. i moved out of state to be with my long term bf of 3.5 yrs and he still doesnt think Im good enough to marry,he uses depression as an excuse.But,even when I've been good,i.e. taking meds,not saying anything about marriage,trying to be peppy,it still doesnt make him want me. Also,I have no friend anymore and the few relatives whom I talk to like me conditionally at best(but thats how my family operates,they only like anyone conditionally). Im 32,running out of time for marriage/kids,and with job stuff in jeopardy,I just feel like I have no purpose in life. The other night,I made a list of reasons to die,I had 37.Isnt that a sign??