I succeeded in making myself feel physically sick along with the depression. I just wonder if these half hearted attempts are just my way of killing myself slowly step by step. My stomach is a wreck, and God knows what else. Why do I find it so hard to just surrender and get the help I need? I did see a doctor but wasn't able to say everything I should, I was afraid to. I just wanna scream HHHHHHHEEEEEELLLLPP. Maybe deep down I think no one would answer my plea anyway. Please someone here just talk to me and be my friend? I feel lost and alone.