Being so shy and so quiet may end up being my demise. when originally I thought it wouldn't be so bad. "It's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're stupid than to open your mouth to prove it." I believed in that. I believed there to be some truth. But I guess there should be a little footnote to that explaining how silence is dangerous. I don't think I actually was "legit" stupid.. but opening my mouth I think I'd surprise a lot of people, or catch them off guard. Somethings you wouldn't expect coming from a 16 year old. I can understand that though. I don't like myself much with the things I think and hold it.. I can't even begin to fathom how other people would dislike me with those things being known... But on the other side, keeping so much to myself I've become really shy, and now that's proving to be very problematic when I really need help and to talk to someone I'm supposed to. I find I can't. I just simpley can't make myself open my mouth and speak what words are needed out in the open... Knowing I have to.. but engraved in the back of my mind is how it's WRONG.
:cry:
I understand a lot of what you are talking about here. I feel the same way sometimes. And, I'm 20. I'm very shy when it comes to being around new people, and that's b/c I'm so afraid that I'll embarrass myself or say something that'll make me appear "different" from them. Sometimes, I feel like I'm anti-social, but I'm not. At all. It's weird, too, b/c I work as a waitress. I've been waitressing since the age of 16-yrs-old. I talk to strangers every day, about anything & everything. Sometimes, I talk to them about my hidden secrets, which makes me feel a bit better about myself. It's amazing how sympathetic & understanding a complete & total stranger can be. :smile: But - back to what you were writing about. You're not alone, Sweetie. Do you ever get overly anxious around people? I find that I somtimes do. I don't know why. Often it happens when I'm w/ some of my best friends. I feel like I hold back a lot of being myself around them. I'm afraid that if I speak my mind, they'll think I'm "crazy." It's overwhelming. I feel like I'm the only one who thinks such awful thoughts; Such depressing thoughts. Easier said than done, but don't be so shy in certain situations. You sound like a very intelligent girl, and mature beyond your young age. I bet if you spoke your mind a bit more, you'd have no problem gradually opening up. If you ever want to talk to me, by all means IM me. I'm a total stranger. :biggrin:
<3 Amber
