Silent ear piercing scream

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Much afraid, May 2, 2013.

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  1. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Work and some people are my triggers (at least today). If I could get to the roof ~ game over. :(
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Home you stay on ground hun find excape from those triggers ok get outside for at least 10 min of air hun h ugs
  3. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Thank you Total Eclipse...I'm sorry...I probably shouldn't have posted here ♥
    I've gotten away from those triggers - now to avoide any others...that is probably unrealistic...
    I'm trying to breathe slowly and find diversions... :blue:'s not really working
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is so hard i know to divert triggers even when you know where they are coming from I am glad you are talking here hun takes you away from harm a bit if you can just voice what is happening Breathing slowly helps sometimes i find putting music on helps as well You post away ok you keep reaching out to all the supports you have hun and one is here ok hugs
  5. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    I wish I had the skills to not let things touch me, to be able to let stuff go instead of seeing it all as another thing piled on top of the mass of my shortcomings. The sense of my worthlessness and self-loathing seems to fill the universe and push all the oxygen away.

    I'm breathing slowly but have to consciously do so. When I don't it seems I stop ~ I don't bring air in and there's nothing really to let out...I have to hold on but I'm not sure I care to. I understand and yet can't help anyone else. How can I ask anyone to stay when I understand the desire to flee? This is not a good day.
  6. Stisme

    Stisme Active Member

    Much afraid....I am so sorry that yesterday was an awful day for you. I wish I had the chance to read your thread before now.

    I know what you are saying when you speak of "consciously breathing". I, too, have several days where I feel the very same way. It hurts me to hear you speak of your "worthlessness"....YOU were and still are right here for me (and other people) every step of the way. I have been having a few "okay" days in a row but I know that a "bad" day is coming. When I have that day....I will need YOU. I see your posst to people...encouraging and lifting them is your turn. I wish there was something more that I could do to help you. Please, please let me know if there is.

    You are a kind and gentle soul Much afraid. You may not believe that.....but you are. There is a reason your here on Earth. We may never know exactly what that reason is.....but I know in my heart it's for a good purpose.

    I hope that you have a better day today. I will be thinking of you. There will be NO visits to the rooftop are to stay grounded on the 1st Talk to you soon.
  7. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Thank you Stisme for your encouragement. So far so good ~ trying very hard to avoid those individuals and situations that just send me. Keeping my head down (so to speak) ;)

    Stisme you are so very kind to me. Thank you. I am most sincere when I speak of the value of others in this world. I'm sure I'm not alone in that; I hope many agree and are simply afraid to go there. Seems I'm afraid to apply it to me. I can say with confidence now, however, it helps to hear that others see value in us when we are blinded to that concept.

    Thank you for being so kind and for allowing me to experience what I hope others "hear" and feel. I often worry that they don't believe I am sincere. There's a reason I picked the name "Much Afraid" beyond being a favorite main character in a wonderful book. :D I too am Much Afraid of many things. (;) amazingly heights is not on that very long list.)

    I'm steering clear of rooftops today ♥ and trying not to hold my breath. :D
    Last edited by a moderator: May 3, 2013
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