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Since I was a child

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kate23, Jan 16, 2013.

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  1. kate23

    kate23 New Member

    I remember the first time I felt like I wanted to die. I was 8 years old. I don't remember what made me feel that way at that particular moment but I don't think it matters. What matters to me is how I've always felt about life in general. Since I was a kid I have never enjoyed being alive. I don't think I've ever experienced the feeling of happiness. At least not like most people say they have. There have been moments in my life when I felt okay enough not to be thinking about ending my life. But even during those moments I would still think that if death was an option, I would take it, no questions asked. I just think that life was handed to me even though I never asked for it. And I only think of it as a number of years that will end at some point. So why drag it on?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi kate23 Have you had any therapy hun as a child or now if not perhaps talking to y our doctor to get a referral would help you not feel so low
  3. Kililamornia

    Kililamornia New Member

    Hi kate23 i know exactly how you feel my depression started about the same time. For me its been about 10 or 11 years and ive been asking the same question "why let it drag on", sometimes you have to force your self to find something to live for even if its just a fish. I find the easiest way to continue living is to take anothers life as my responcability because knowing that without me there something else couldnt survive is stronger then my feelings to end life.
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