since my overdose about a week ago, i started thinking maybe this is the best.. the whole time i was doing it i was terrified but also relieved.. i started to feel like i wanted to the more i swallowed. with all the people ive hurt lately, i just feel this is the best way.. that i should go, but i have a hard time leaving because i have such close friends im hanging on too. i guess at the same time i felt i wanted to get better. but inside i want to die, i really do. i cant stand watching my friends suffer, i can even stand my own suffering..i just feel this is the best way..has anyone ever known its just what has to be done? maybe that when you attempt you feel relieved?