Siren Song

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Astarael, Oct 11, 2009.

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  1. Astarael

    Astarael Member

    I have several writings to share here, and I thought I would start with my favorite. I wrote this poem during a prolonged bout of depression in 2003, shortly before I made my 3rd-ish attempt. I hope that you all will enjoy it.

    Siren Song

    I stand alone at Ocean’s side
    Feet submerged in rising tide

    My gaze transfixed by white, pearl moon
    And ears caressed by haunted tune

    The hollow sound of evermore
    In ceaseless lapping at the shore

    The salty brine, it calls to me
    “Come and slumber ‘neath the sea”

    I slip down into depths of blue
    Shield mine eyes from murky view

    Floating now, through liquid night
    Beneath the surface of broken light

    Hold me now in warm embrace
    Whilst the mermaids kiss my face

    Coax the breath from ‘tween my lips
    Sing me to sleep as life slips

    Together we shall always be…
    Me, the mermaids and the sea

    (SLM, 2003)​
  2. kurenai

    kurenai Well-Known Member

    I love how the narrator acknowledges that the song coming from the ocean is "hollow", and that the water itself is "murky", the narrator can't even bear to look at it, and wants to go into the water anyway; its a powerful affirmation of how terrible the narrator's world must be.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Love this poem even though it is about giving into the dept of depression
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    2003 was a bad year for me too :(

    I love your writing!
  5. Astarael

    Astarael Member

    Kurenai, you are right, my world was impossibly bleak at the time of this writing. Before this year, 2003 stood as the worst depression I have ever been through. Thank you for the incredible comment... It feels good to have someone respond deeply to my writing.

    Thank you for the kind compliment, Violet. I'm sure you well know that sometimes giving in isn't a choice... The process of writing (and re-writing, and editing, lol) this did give me some catharsis, though.

    IrishDoll, I am glad we both made it through 2003. :hug: Thank you for the compliment.
  6. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    Love it. The mermaids especially <3
  7. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    The ending gives me chills. Luvvit!

  8. Vangelis

    Vangelis Well-Known Member

    I can feel the words sing me in a lullaby, and put me in a state of least it spaces me out so I'm calm and pensive.
  9. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    love it! :heart:
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