7th February 2010 I lost my 18 year old sister to suicide, she was found in our family living room I know it's weird but I always find comfort in that room. My sister was my world, my bestfriend, my only friend.. I knew she was depressed but I never thought she was capable of suicide, I feel like my insides have been ripped out and left me numb and incapable of doing anything. I just keep thinking of how miserable she must have been and it hurts SO SO SO much the fact she felt this was her only option at just 18, I'm 20 and I know how hard it can be at that age.. I just feel like I'm in a hole that I can't get myself out of, life is so undesirable to me I just want it all to be over. I can't do it though, at least not to my mum and my family those are the only reason I'm even still here, I couldn't put my family through this pain again it's unimaginably devistating.. but I can't help my thoughts, my feelings I just want this show to be over soon.