Well I took a load last time and i was in the hospital 4 nights. Then things looked up for a while. I was actually happy. I was buzzing. Hadn't felt like that in ages...years even. I found joy in my every day life. Now though... he ended it. Why... as while I was bad i was treating him badly. he had enough. he couldnt take it anymore. then he turned round and said to me he didnt love me anymore. We haven't been intimate with each other for ages. but that was me, I was pushing him away. They changed my meds and they worked. I was sleeping. That made me feel better. There was 2 weeks while I was happy. I not felt that in so long. I was supposed to be moving in with him. Then he tels me while I am packing up my stuff that! So now I am back to minus square 37. I have brought a load and I have popped them and I am sitting here looking at them. I feel so much worse than i ever have done before!