Sitting Here... :(

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by absolution, Aug 27, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Im sitting here staring at a bottle of pills wondering who would miss me... Idk what is wrong with me right now but i just feel so low.. i cant thinks stragiht... :cry:
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Has anything happened to make you feel so low?

    There will always be people who miss you, even if you can't see it (or in some people's cases, don't want to see it).

    Do you have anyone you can get some company with? Would you consider going to hospital?
     
  3. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I just have so much going on in my head and i want it all to stop. :( My girlfriend is at school she should be home in about 2 hours... And i would go to a hospital but I'm in a different state and dont know where the hospital is here. Also idk how i would get there. I really wish i knew the reason why i feel this low. :cry:
     
  4. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    Lots of people would miss you. Maybe you should move the pills some where else out of sight, or flush them. If you are that worried you could call for an ambulance and they will come and get you.
     
  5. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I just put them in a bag.. :( I guess some people would miss me but they would move on eventually...and they would look back and realize they are better off without me.
     
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Well done for putting them away.

    Your gf would cleartly miss you.

    What's going round in your head? Can you type it all out?

    It takes a hugely long time to deal with suicide and many people don't, so chances are they would just hurt for a long time.

    Its good you would consider going to hospital, could you maybe call and find out where the nearest one is? even 911 would be an option.
     
  7. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    Sensible putting them somewhere out of sight i think. I really doubt they will be better off with out you, it will just fill them with sadness.
     
  8. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I don't have the same insurance now that i live here so i dont think i can pay for the hospital. :(

    I guess you are right. if someone i knew were to commit suicide i would be devastated. But how do i make the pain stop without it?

    Most of the stuff going trough my head is about my worth. And about how alone i feel sometimes even when there are people i love all around me. I really dont know how to make everything stop hurting without the pills... :(
     
  9. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I dont want to hurt anyone I just want the pain to stop. I have really great days then i have really bad days.. like today.. :(
     
  10. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Tell us about the pain. Why do you struggle with self worth?

    I really feel for you with regards to the loneliness.

    Has anything caused today to be bad?
     
  11. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I guess the low self worth thing stems from all the abuse i suffered. And im sick of people telling me once you understand it wasnt your fault everything will work out. Well i know it wasnt my fault and yet i still feel like a worthless piece of crap. :(

    Loneliness sucks...its the worst feeling someone can feel in my opinion.

    I just woke up today feeling bad. :( Idk just sucks that i can feel this low without anything setting it off.
     
  12. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear you were abused no one should have to go through that. Are you doing counselling? If you are and its not helping maybe you could try a different person. Yeah loneliness sucks, i second that.
     
  13. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Itwould be lovely if that was the case and it wasn't a problem once you understand its not your fault, but that's simply not the case, as you clearly understand.

    Often when we have been abused in some way it creates emotional wounds and often they heal wrongly, so that they still cause us pain. What often needs to happen is that those wounds need to be reopened and then rehealed so that they don't cause that level of pain anymore. Such as with therapy of some sort. Is this something you have tried?

    What sort of support have you had to help you with all of this? Have you ever seen a professional about feeling so bad?
     
  14. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I have been in therapy for a while. But recently i had to leave because i moved to Ohio. I have to find a way to pay for it now if i want to see someone :(
     
  15. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Can you change your Insurance provider?

    Have you checked out any support groups or anything? Often you don't need to pay for those and you don't need insurance either, you can just turn up.
     
  16. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    im sorry guys... im so done :cry: bye
     
  17. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Why? Talk to us.
     
  18. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Im fine...well alive i guess i should say. She came home just in time..
     
  19. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I'm very glad she did. Have you told her how bad you feel and how close you came?
     
  20. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    We are going to have a long talk when she gets home from band. Ugh i hate myself soooo much right now :(. I never wanted to hurt her but i fear i have. She means soooo much to me. And it drives me nuts that i dont know why i was so low. THank you guys sooo much for your support today. :grouphug:
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.