Six months old... I lost my mom

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Silently-Hated, Jun 9, 2012.

  1. Silently-Hated

    Silently-Hated Well-Known Member

    Yeah a very long time ago but to me it's like yesterday. I remember my dad carrying me out of my crib and through the house. I remember seeing her lying between the kitchen and the living room. She died to substance abuse and drugs. She was twenty eight. I never got to tell her I loved her, I never got to say the word mom to her. I was her only girl out of three boys and I never got to see her alive, sitting on the porch as we played, or going to school stuff.
    I've never known my mom...
    I never knew her name, when she died, or how, or where she was buried or where she was originally from until last year. My dad never spoke about it.
    My moms name was Debby I think, she died in October, due to substance abuse and drugs, she was twenty eight, she was buried in Alaska at a marine base, I think, she was from Alaska.
    I miss her even tho I never got to know her. And there will always be a place for her.
    But truthfully I sometimes blame her for where I am and everything that has happened to me.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is true that no one replaces one's Mommy...even if you have one that is not functioning enough, she is still the one who you place so much of your security on...mine was a passive cohort in my abuse, and still I want my mommy today...I think we learn to fulfill ourselves with the comfort and security a mommy would have given us, and this allows us to move on...sending you warm hugs...hope you ask others for them and often to fill the void of the horrific thing you have been through...we do not forget, but we do get through events like that