sk why im typin this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by byebyebeautiful, Oct 16, 2008.

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  1. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    but im so tired of the pain, the constant feeling of paranoia and guilt, the uselessness, and patheticness of the person I am. I can't take being looked down upon because I'm "different", I cant stand the constant fights at home, constantly being yelled at. being stolen off. I cant take any of it any more. I feel like I have noone to talk to, to confind in, sure I have a counselor and phycitrist, care organiser, but I cant talk to them, not about all this i go through each day, my feelings change one moment to the next, one moment I'm happy next im sad and angry. Oh i know what this is, its bipolar, I'm on medication for it, just started a new med. And I am currently changing my anti depressant. I hear voices, I "halucinate", i have other personalities, which i know some people have met.

    I'm pathetic worthless and useless, and this thread is pointless.


  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Holly. You're not pathetic, worthless or useless. You're a human being just like the rest of us and you deserved to be loved. :hug:
  3. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    you havnt had to spend any amount of time talking to me, so u really wouldnt know.

    im an abusive little bitch. im not worthy of anything, well exept maybe abuse.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Holly,
    I am sorry you feel that way. I agree with Dave that you aren't useless. It is called depression. You will find alot of good people here on the forum. Everyone has different problems, but I am sure you will relate to some of us.
    Just from the little you posted I think you need a therapist. They can really help, but you have to be honest and not hold back anything. If you want to hide things then you will just be wasting your time. If they don't know what is happening with you how could you expect them to help?
    It sounds like you are bottling up alot of anger. You need to get it out in the open. You can PM one/or more of us to talk to or to just vent and let the anger out. Take Care!!~Joseph~
  5. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    you should move out, I wish I moved out when I was younger, what is keeping you at home, if you arent old enough then you should plan your move out when you are the legal age, or if it gets to bad then you should let someone know and maybe you can live somewhere else, if it is as bad as it says you really dont need to live your life in constant abuse, I wish I had been given or drilled this advice into myself when I was younger
  6. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Not at all, R. I'm glad we've chatted in the past and I wish you a bright future. The hole you are in right now is one you will inevitably climb out of.
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Holly you're nothing like you say you are. I haven't met u in person but have spoken with you on the phone and you honestly seem like a lovely girl. I'd really like to meet you in person one day. I'm sorry things are bad for you right now but things will get better i promise :hug: Hang in there.
  8. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    I tried last night. Failed misserably. tried this morning, failed again.

    I am in therapy, see a phyc and care co-ordinator.

    Will reply later
  9. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    btw i been a member 7 months
  10. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    Holly, I'm always here for you, don't forget that, and you're welcome to stay anytime if you need to get away for a bit.

    Please be safe and be strong.
  11. Hi Holly you are not pathetic or useless. I know how it feels for your moods to be all over the place.
    Feel free to PM me..
  12. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    i am pathetic worthless n useless, everyone forgot my birthday the other day, on here. i have no friends on here, they all hate me, everyone here does. the only person who wants me, is my boyfriend :/ kenny n joe.
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Holly ask your doc about taking Geodon for your thoughts and cogentin for the side effects of Geodon, as far as mood swings ask about Lamitcal. They seem to be pretty good meds. I have been on them for three years. Without them I turn into a raging asshole. So I have a personal reason to take them. Take Care~Joseph~
  14. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    medications work differently for everyone, but I am on Lamictal too, and it seems to be helping.
  15. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    I will ask about them. I'm in proccess of changing medication anyway. lol

    know any really good AD's?
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