Skating on thin ice

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Capt Tripps, Mar 21, 2014.

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  1. Capt Tripps

    Capt Tripps Member

    My GF of almost seven years cheated on me, AGAIN. Just when things were looking up for us she did this to me. I am completely devastated. I very much thought about <mod edit methods> last night, but couldn't bare to do that to my parents and brother Haven't slept or eaten in two days, haven't been able to work. Fortunately my employers seem to be understanding, would really suck to lose my job at this point. I seem to be temporarily over the immediate crisis, but wow I was so close to doing it. I'm afraid I will feel that way again.

    I know I need to get away from her forever, but really felt she was my soulmate. Guess I need to grow up. I am 42, way too old for this kind of crap. Maybe some day I can find a sweet girl that will be honest and true to me. Need to focus on fixing myself first. Everything is so overwhelming. I have <mod edit - methods> in the house, guess I should get them out until this passes, but not sure what to do with them. I have struggled with depression and alcohol for a long time. Gonna try to be strong. My Brother basically talked me out of it last night, and I am so grateful for him.

    Thanks for listening.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 21, 2014
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    what happened after the last time she cheated?

    glad you found this forum btw
     
  3. Liquid Jello

    Liquid Jello Well-Known Member

    sorry to hear about the GF situation. have had much the same thing happen. can be so hurtful and even harder to deal with if there's also depression to deal with. re: methods, I've in the past basically gotten rid of certain things.....throwing them far away or down the drain or whatever. I know some people have given things that could be harmful, for others to keep temporarily, until it's safe to have the objects around again.

    I'm really glad u had ur brother to talk to, and glad that you posted here, too.

    take care, k?


    chuck
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm really glad your brother talked you down, and that you found this site.

    You don't deserve to be cheated on; nobody does. I hope you can find the strength to walk away from her so she can't hurt you again. :hug:
     
  5. Capt Tripps

    Capt Tripps Member

    Thank you for your words y'all. When she first did this to me I kept seeing her while she was still with her new guy. So pathetic I know. Then eventually she called it off with him, and I thought we were going to be fine. Now she has done this, just doesn't seem to care at all. Pretty sure she is bipolar, though I am not a doctor and not diagnosing. Everyone says she is terrible for me, has put me through so much misery. I just wonder if I am defective or what is wrong with me.

    I think I have a friend who can keep the dangerous things, otherwise I should just pawn them. Feeling ok now, but really scared the hell out of myself last night.

    Very glad I found this site.
     
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    yeah, moving on is probably best
    but then need to ensure she won't come crawling back again this time somehow
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I doubt you're defective. It's sad, but there are some people who will cheat no matter what... no matter how happy the person they're with tries to make them, no matter what the circumstances are. It isn't your fault and doesn't mean you did anything wrong.
     
  8. Capt Tripps

    Capt Tripps Member

    Thank you for the encouragement. It is amazing how much something like this hurts. Makes me question all kinds of things. I need to be strong and just be over her. My house is filled up with her belongings so we are going to have to deal with that. From what I have been reading it is best to just make a clean break. Guess I shouldn't have to read that to have known it. If I can somehow get some sleep and keep food down, I think I will be thinking more clearly. Thinking about calling my friend to take these things. Just seems so embarrassing to have to confess this, both the betrayal and the concern I might hurt myself.
     
  9. Capt Tripps

    Capt Tripps Member

    Well she is coming over to get some things. Hope I can hold it together and tell her I can't see or talk to her anymore. So much pain and loss. Time to be strong and deal with this. Need to be able to look myself in the mirror. She is not worth hurting myself over, just gotta keep telling myself that.
     
  10. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    As it's not the first time it's happened - it would be better to move on. She clearly isn't worth your time if she's prepared to cheat on what she did have with you.

    Time heals most things - a broken heart is one of them that can be recovered from. You deserve an equal footing of respect. And by not throwing her stuff out in the immediacy - shows you have a better attitude than some who I have seen split.
     
  11. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    lol, put her things outside and don't even let her in? half kidding. but yeah, be strong and adamant that you can't and won't see her again. here's to it going smoothly
     
  12. Capt Tripps

    Capt Tripps Member

    That is tempting scaryforest, but I am just not an asshole enough. Still want the best for her, just want her gone from me. So stupid to think I almost ended myself over her.
     
  13. Capt Tripps

    Capt Tripps Member

    She came and went. So glad that is over. Went as well as could be expected, just very sad. Feels like I wasted 7 years of my life. I guess that is a good lesson as no telling how many years I would have missed if I had gone through with it. Thank you folks for helping me keep my head straight.
     
  14. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    If I may be allowed to ask an unfair question here... What do you think she would do if the situation were reversed? Would she continue to take you back and accept you for who you are, and so on and so forth? If she's done this in the past, and she's doing this in the present, there's a very strong likelihood that she'll do this again in the future. Please keep that in mind if you ever start to feel sorry for her or have second thoughts / self-doubts...
     
  15. Capt Tripps

    Capt Tripps Member

    It is a fair question and I appreciate you asking it. She would probably not have the decency I have tried to maintain with her. I don't want to assume what she would do but I have a pretty good guess. I had a silly picture of someone I work with on my phone a while ago, totally innocent, and she flipped and went violent.

    And she flat out told me if I took her back she would end up hurting me again.

    Can not allow any self-doubts. Almost died over this and not to mention the horror it would have caused my family. We make our decisions and have to live (hopefully) with them.
     
  16. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    noo. the years being a waste. try and think idk more like life lesson... or something..
    regrets are hard to move on from

    misterbgone's questions make the old mind tick
     
  17. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    No time spent trying to be happy is ever wasted Cpt..... we learn what works and what does not, and we learn valuable life lessons about trust etc. We also learn things about ourselves and our motivations and expectations. Unfortunately life has a way of throwing us curve balls when we least expect them and nobody wants them ever, but then, we would never have opportunities for learning all these deeper, valuable life lessons and life would spiral all out of control and become unmanageable. So glad that you have survived this - there are many sweet girls out there who are looking for a man who wants to commit permanently and who they feel they would love to commit to, too. :) Just because that one did that to you, doesn't mean we are all like that. What women need most of all and are looking for is a man who knows how to demonstrate affection in copious amounts, and who will listen to them......and listen, and...... listen! No woman would ever throw over a man who was good at those 2 things :)
     
  18. Capt Tripps

    Capt Tripps Member

    Well I think I had the affection down, maybe I didn't listen enough? Can't second guess myself though, the next few days are going to be really tough. Hell, the next few months and the rest of my life are bound to be, guess that is life right?

    I do appreciate your insights urPrecious, taken to heart :)
     
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