I woke up today. I was very calm and rational, and I wanted to die... seriously. I had three options but I had to wait until my mother left to work. Honestly I felt I'd be having an anxiety attack when I finally went through with it or I'd be in a frenzy of confusion but no. I'm perfectly calm and I know what I want. 2 of those options went down the drain and the last one might prove to be a bit painful with what I have. Haha. I'm so scared of pain I don't think I could, I tested it and (EDIT... dunno if I should put that...)... I'm so sick of not being happy... of having no friends... of being who I am... I hate everything about me and I can't be anything I want if I'm me. I honestly didn't think I could complain anymore than I already have, I'm so tired of it and I want it to go away. Once more... I don't expect much from this this is just me thinking out loud where someone might hear me. See ya later, maybe.