Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LetItGo, Aug 13, 2008.

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  1. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I feel fucking awful. Like this mountain is too high to climb, so down on myself. Watching her zing zing around, I feel like a tortoise. So many dreams, stupid mother fucking dreams that seem more distant now than ever. If you cant tell, ya im fucking angry as well, just sick of myself, blah blah blah

    Trying to do things, and im getting so confused, do i go this way or that way, do this first, do that next, end up getting nothing done at all. I need to make some money, will end up going back to the same old stapple, im going to hate myself with such force when I do. Gotta be happy for these idiots, like its a fucking circus. Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.

    Its great knowing your a waste of space. I wanna get that fucking ..... out and ... myself stupid. End it this fucking pointless merry go round. I havent felt this bad in a long time. I dont think its possible to recover from this depression once youve "caught it". Ive had for years now, since i was a little boy really, barely a teenager. Its a disease, eating away at ur life force like cancer. I dont think there's a cure, just periods of remission.

    Im not well.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree, I let it eat away at me!! I suffer both physically, and emotionally. People who don't suffer from depression have no clue at what we go thru!! I tried to explain it to them and finally got frustrated because no matter what I would say, they said they still don't know why I feel this way. I finally told them that I can't give details. Now the friends I have made here help keep me on path, I slip sometimes and they have been there to help support me...
  3. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Matt youve also had good times and you really shouldnt forget them. Its just not worth it to think about all the bad things. Youre not a waste of space, and i know you still think you are when i say that, so i will say it different. I wish you would waste more of my space, i miss ya. And if money is a problem, look for a cheaper place to live, do something you really love, I know you can do it. Atm i hear you talking in my head, saying, blubs its not that simple, blablabla... Youre right about that, but if you dont follow your wishes and dreams, 10 years later you will regret that too, just like you do now. You think to much about the past, you have to think about now, the things that will make you happy now. I know I sound so scary positive and stuff, sorry... but it helps me, atm im seeing a little more hope for my future. I will stop the positive rambling shit, because its starting to scare me too, but ya know, you can always contact me

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