I feel fucking awful. Like this mountain is too high to climb, so down on myself. Watching her zing zing around, I feel like a tortoise. So many dreams, stupid mother fucking dreams that seem more distant now than ever. If you cant tell, ya im fucking angry as well, just sick of myself, blah blah blah Trying to do things, and im getting so confused, do i go this way or that way, do this first, do that next, end up getting nothing done at all. I need to make some money, will end up going back to the same old stapple, im going to hate myself with such force when I do. Gotta be happy for these idiots, like its a fucking circus. Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. Its great knowing your a waste of space. I wanna get that fucking ..... out and ... myself stupid. End it this fucking pointless merry go round. I havent felt this bad in a long time. I dont think its possible to recover from this depression once youve "caught it". Ive had for years now, since i was a little boy really, barely a teenager. Its a disease, eating away at ur life force like cancer. I dont think there's a cure, just periods of remission. Im not well.