slapping myself

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by toopainfultolive, Oct 3, 2011.

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  1. toopainfultolive

    toopainfultolive Well-Known Member

    today i have driven myself thru my limits. made such a terrible mistake resulting in loss of money which can be avioded if im more careful. dunno what's wrong with me. cant do simple things. make lots of one likes me. been punching and slapping myself eversince i got home. havent done this for years. too much pain inside. everytime i think of it, i just have to hurt myself. never been a cutter. never going to anyway. just slapping myself stings and distract my mind. feel so lonely tonight. actually was looking for someone to scold me but my friend didnt. why didnt she, i wonder. i needed someone to tell me off,to scream at me, to punish me. so i kept slapping myself. that ringing sound makes me heart light. the pain keeps my tears at bay. i dont wanna cry. i have no right to cry. im so stupid and deserve to die. i really wonder why she didnt scold me. why cant she do so. i will feel better. i still need to fork up the compensation money. its killin me. im nt gonna rest till its over. think im gonna go find someone with power to help. someone that can trashes those ppl. if im going to die, i dont wanna go alone. those mean ppl who are hurting me shld be punish as well.
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Would you like to talk about what happened?
  3. toopainfultolive

    toopainfultolive Well-Known Member

    sure, i can do with some advice.

    i found a job working in the governemnt sector thru the recuitment agency but it turns out the job is quite diff from what i think. So I decided to quit. According to the contract, if i resign, i need to compensate the agency. So instead of quiting, i decided that my boss can fire me. though it will leave a bad record, its much better than forking out money. What's more, i feel that i have been misled into signing the contract in the first place as both my agent and the interviewer withhold some info, which is why the job turns out differently. I was very much pissed off by their actions and no matter what, didnt want to compensate.

    But my agent suddenly said that even if my boss fire me, i still need to compensate the agency. does that sound fair? if u resign, u compensate. if they fire u, u compensate. so the moment u signed the contract, u are supposed to work well thru the contract period. the termination clause is very harsh as well - if u are late 3 times, if u absent without reason, if inability to perform up to expectations. these are reasons ppl get fired all the time but in this case, if u are fired, u have to compensate. What's puzzling is that the thing abt compensate even if u are fired isnt include in the contract. So I decided to turn to my boss. And my boss say "yes." Its a total insult. The government sector im working in now is the sector in charge of employment. They are supposed to be all abt fair employment and protecting the employee rights. How can they agree to use such unfair contract?

    honestly if my agent or the interviewer from the governemnt sector side has mention abt the compensation for termination, there's no way i will have signed the contract. Since I did signed the contract and I decided to quit, okay im fine with the compensation. I will pay them whatever.

    Still I'm so mad at myself for not looking thru the contract properly, the agent not telling me abt such 'invisible' clause, the goverment sector for treating me this way. i cannot believe what i just been thru. how can such unfair contract exist and the goverment sector allows it, even use it when they are supposed to protect us against it???

    anyone know what should i do? i wanna warn others cuz im sure im not the only one who signed this contract and the agency is a very major one here. i did thought of going to my MP but I dont think she may be able(/willing) to do much since one side is the government sector. Maybe I will go to the press so ppl will be warned off. i dont wanna cause trouble or get back my compensation but at least I wanna get back at them in the right way. honestly hitting myself isnt gonna make me feel good. everytime i think of the way im cheated and helpless to go against such huge influences, i started hurting myself. i cant just stand by because i simply cant let this be bygones.

    if im being stupid, do tell me!! Have no idea what to do now. just trying to find a way out. a way i feel at peace with. otherwise i will keep hurting myself.
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    toopainfultolive, do you have a copy of the contract in your files at home? I would suggest you read it and take it to a lawyer.

    Where I live, there is usually a three-month period during which either the employee or the employer can break the agreement, without a penalty. But you need to find out what the laws are in your own area. If there is a government agency for labour laws, you could call them. You could ask about employment agents and the contracts they draw up for employees. Can they be broken without a penalty? Or just go directly to a lawyer to find out what your rights are.

    Also, if the agency and the employer misled you about what the job would be, they might have breached the contract themselves and that could possibly be a way for you to leave. Again, you need to check this with a lawyer.

    Don't hit yourself anymore, OK? You're frustrated, but there are steps to take to get the answers you need.

    Keep us posted. All the best of luck to you.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 3, 2011
  5. toopainfultolive

    toopainfultolive Well-Known Member

    My employer is the government agency for labour laws. How can I go to them? I'm also not under any union group to ask for help. Hmm laywers are too expensive here for consultation.

    I'm just thinking of going to the press. Everyone does it here cuz those persons-in-charge only take actions when the public report it to the press. I will go to my MP for help but its probably harder to meet her than anything else. Then again, she probably wouldn't care about my case unless I bring it to the press.

    I'm not out to get back my money anyway but the contract terms are too damn unfair to the employees and who knows how many ppl have signed the same contract too. They shouldn't use such contract in the first place, when its only beneficial to the employer and agency.
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I have a couple of questions to make sure I understand completely. Was the recruitment done by the government agency itself, or by an outside employment agency? Assuming those are different...Who drew up and now holds the contract - the employment agency or the government agency? Who issues your paycheque - the government agency or the employment agency?

    If there was an employment agency involved and they hold the contract and issue your paycheque (not the government), then the employment agency might be considered your employer, so you can go to the labour agency and report the employment agency for misrepresenting the job specifications. However, if there is an employment agency, you might want to go to your supervisor at the labour agency where you work to talk about this before reporting it. Your boss might not know the job was misrepresented to you.

    Yes, lawyers can be expensive. :( Is there legal aid (less expensive help) where you are? I have no clue at all what going to the press would involve. What if you were to contact your MP and say that you want help, that you really have no choice except to get help from the MP or if she can't/won't, you will end up going to the press. Give them the option to step up and do the right thing? (Besides, you won't know if she'll meet you or not until you ask her, right?)

    Keep us posted, toopainfultolive. I hope this all works itself out for you. :hug:
  7. toopainfultolive

    toopainfultolive Well-Known Member

    To answer ur qns -

    The employment agency holds the contract, issues my paycheck and is the party im supposed to compensate for.

    My supervisor and big boss at the labour agency know that the job is misrepresent to me but simply believes its not such a big deal and wants me to continue working.

    I will have gone to the labor agency to lodge a complaint against the employment agency if I'm not working under the labor agency. They know everything yet refuses to take my side. They can actually help to wavie off the compensation (they have that kinda power) but didn't help me so as I insist on quiting.

    As for why I refuse to continue working, I feel cheated by them - my agent, my supervisor, and also my boss (who interview me for this job). None of them mention anything about how the job is different. The one day offdays are changed from mon-thurs to mon-tues. I have to meet 40quota per day. These are things they shld have mention in the first place. Secondly, they also fail to mention that if they terminate my contract (due to all those reasons ppl are usually terminated for - late for job 3 times, neglect of duties, absent without proof etc), I have to compensate the employment agency. I was only notified about this when I insist on quiting once again. It wasn't stated very clearly in the contract either. Those tricky bastards!! Honestly, if they have told me beforehand, I will never have signed the contract and land myself in hot soup now.

    You are probably right. Going to the press could land me in much more trouble than now. I found some free legal aid. I'm going to call them up to make an appointment. Hopefully they can advise me on what to do or at least where to get proper help.

    Then perhaps, I will approach my MP for help. She may be able to negotiate on my behalf, if she's willing to help me. Threatening her I will go to the press sounds like a good idea.

    If nothing can be done, I don't have a case against them, then I will probably just write in to the press to warn others that they shld be more careful when signing contracts. Besides, who knows what kind of trouble I may get into if I mention their names to the press? I've better check with the legal aid first.

    I have stopped hurting myself but can't sleep as everything is so raw and painful. I really wish I can turn back time and I know I will definitely won't sign that evil contract...
  8. MouseSLP

    MouseSLP Member

    Are you in UK?

    This really doesn't sound right at all, legal aid solicitor or citizens advice bureau should be able to help you.

    Any contract of employment should be clear, especially grounds for disciplinary and termination. I've never heard of anyone having to compensate an employer for resigning from a position.

    Hope you can get the legal advice you need

  9. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    If you ARE in UK, I am pretty sure this is not legal, but you could go to the Citizen's Advice Bureau for help.
  10. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    It isn't legal in the UK. None of the really big recruitment angencies work in this way - such as reed, hays etc. As mentioned above, the CAB will help you sort it out.
  11. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I can see how you feel cheated and backed into a corner, there. That's a tough situation. I hope you can get some advice and input from legal aid. Again, keep us posted on how things are going. I'll be thinking of you. :hug:
  12. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    If you didn't realise it they clearly made a mistake. Something that significant should be made much clearer the point that you signed... Hopefully you can sort it out, good luck, and please post back.
  13. cannolongercope

    cannolongercope Active Member

    It sounds like the quota you are expected to meet is to difficult.

    I suggest you keep working and, if possible, collect documentation to indicate the quota is excessive. If they send out team stats and the majority are not meeting the quota, then save or print those out.

    If you are not meeting the quota, I assume you will get fired at some point and at unemployment you could use the documentation to show the quota was unrealistic.

    You don't want to burn bridges, if possible. You want unemployment. I suggest that you share with your boss you are doing better and applogize for the past statements.

    I know none of this sits well with you, but it is only for your well being in the long run. You have been wronged; please know this. Many businesses aredirty and corrupt

    The terms in a contact do not have to be spoken in words to you; it is completly your responsibility to know all the terms in the contract before you sign it. You do not have a case, I believe.

    Take care.
  14. toopainfultolive

    toopainfultolive Well-Known Member

    I make an appointment on Monday for legal aid. That's the nearest I can get. Everywhere else are booked.

    No, I'm not in the UK.

    Unfortunately, I had quit so collecting data is out of the question and I am also very afraid that I don't have a case against them. But I will only know after I talk with the volunteer lawyer.

    I haven't been sleeping well these days and my nights are filled with nightmares. I'm worried about my agent coming after me for the compensation. For now, he hasn't said anything. I woke early today, cuz I thought that the phone is ringing and gave myself a fright. I just want this to be over soon. I can't take the strain of asking for help and not getting it. Hopefully I will get some good useful advice.

    Thks for all the replies and concern. I didn't expect that. Thank you.
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