Slashing wrist isnt effective anymore... I feel like I wanna hurt someone

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by andrtaker, Jun 18, 2009.

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  1. andrtaker

    andrtaker Guest

    I have so much rage and sadness inside me that not even slashing my wrist or hurting myself can calm me down anymore... been like this for years

    I feel like I wanna do something else... Like hurting or killing something,

    last night, i was so depressed and really down that I eventually looked at my pet dog and i had this urge to kill it but i tried to stay calm and walked away quickly before I can do something stupid.

    I know myself better than anyone else and everytime I have those urges, sooner or later, something bad will happen.

    My condition is getting worse and I know that the longer I stay like this, sooner or later... Someone WILL get hurt!

    I dont really think straight when Im depressed and angry, all I can think of is I want those negative emotions gone! BUT IT AINT EASY!

    The only way to calm me down is if I do what my emotions/mind wants me to do! Otherwise Im gonna feel worser and make things 10X difficult for me to control and I'll eventually lose my mind!

    I dont know what to do anymore... Think I should stay a little longer and wait for something bad to happen to me/someone.. or should I just take a bunch of Benzodiazepine pills or something to kill myself and prevent me further to do anything harmful... my life is so fcked lol im the worm of the earth...
     
  2. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Maybe you should hospitalize yourself.
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I agree with junkie,if you're feeling that way please go to the hospital or tell your psych.
     
  4. Dubstepper

    Dubstepper Staff Alumni

    when you start gettting down and very abusive, even mentally, you eventually develop a sense of " if i do this, ill feel better" and once you do something extreme like that... well, it becomes like the cutting, where the only way to get rid of the "itch" is to do it again, which becomes a spiraling path... check yourself into someplace that will help you curb those feelings, please.
     
  5. emochick77

    emochick77 Member

    My name is Karen.. I have the same problem as you do. My life is so messed up.. my mom died my dad beat me.. i was raped.. my boyfriend makes me do stuff i dont want to do.. and i cut myself but im so angry all the time that i want to kill people.. i can imagine killing someone and that scared me.. i used to choke my kitten when i was kid until it clawed me.. but then i went and told my psych.. he helped me.. he didnt lock me away.. i still cut and im still angry.. i just know what im angry at now and i dont feel the need to hurt someone
     
  6. Depressica

    Depressica Member

    I get those feelings sometimes, too, so I'll tell you what my counselor tells me:

    You CHOOSE wether or not to harm something, yourself or someone. Basically, there is no such thing as being out of control. You DO have control over yourself and you CAN choose not to do something harmful.

    Here's one from me, one I've done myself:

    Go ahead and imagine the scenario all the way through. You kill a beloved pet and then what? Terrible pain and grief will come. You'll have to get rid of the body. How will you explain the loss of your pet to those who knew you had one? What painful lies will you have to tell? How will you keep all the lies and stories straight? Can you live with those lies and this act of killing your pet on your conscience for the rest of your life? Will someone tell authorities you murdered your pet or will you eventually admit your guilt? Will you end up in jail, known in your town/city as an animal abuser? How would this senario play out if you harmed or killed a fellow human being? Could you handle a court trial? Years in prison? Maybe even the death penalty, depending your crime?

    Now, bearing all of these consequences in mind-- How will performing the act of hurting a pet or a person help you? Ultimately, how will these actions make you feel and what will your life be as a result-- better or worse? Given the consequences of these actions, I think you know the answer to that question.

    Worse.

    So, if I were you, I'd think twice and get some help. Swallow your pride and face your fears and GO.
     
  7. suicidepsycho

    suicidepsycho Member

    i know this feelingg. if i cut myself i don't feel pain and it doesn't help me, but i just have to do it and i don't know why. i just feel that i need to cut.
    and i wanna kill someone. i wanna go on the street with a knife and kill people. right now i can control myself, but i'm worried that soon i can't anymore. becuse everyday everything gets worse.
     
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