Sleep And Me

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ToHelp, Mar 13, 2008.

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  1. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    I say. Hi there, a jolly good eve/morn/afternoon to yas. :hieveryon

    I recently posted into.... Mark i think? -his thread about sleep, describing my delayed sleep-phase syndrome (aka, a circadian sleep disorder). But it's more than that and I've been meaning to post about it. So here goes!

    The problem
    Not only is my natural "daytime" during night, but since I like to sleep up to 12 hours and can't get back to sleep for 14-16, it's a perpetual, cyclic struggle because there are but 24 hours in a day.

    "Sleep" alone is but a surface issue
    Then there's the fact that I'm never completely well; trauma that I've pretty well covered publicly on here can always resurface; unhealthy memories can always be triggered. Maybe you can identify with this--though I'm past it all now chronologically, I am forever marred by [insert here; for me, it's alcoholism] and the neuroses in its wake.

    I keep up an enthusiasm for life, but am accursed with unusual frailties. Randomly searching Google, I especially identify with this page. The authors write [the Classical Greek philosopher] Socrates took as his motto: "The unexamined life is not worth living." The adult child has unconsciously adopted the motto: "The examined life is unbearably threatening."

    So let's go back to sleep, lol
    Another core problem as I see it is that I lust for sleep. I LOVE sleeping, man. My God, when I sleep, I never have to face a thing!!! Oh sure, on occasion there'll be the threatening dream out of which I am elated to escape to reality but mostly.... mostly the dreams of my sleep are warm and welcoming, bringing about images, themes and times very favorable to me.

    Indeed, the problem would seem that my dreams trump my reality to a degree that I loathe waking back into this thorny world. In the famous monologue ('to be or not to be') from Hamlet, Shakespeare describes the allure of sleep in his ruminations of suicide:

    By a sleep to say we end
    The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
    That flesh is heir to — 'tis a consummation
    Devoutly to be wish'd.

    Forced into the waking world over and over
    It used to be... I would awake rested, unafraid, totally ready for the day. Now, even though there be no chronic physical pain like the pains of arthritis, crawling out of that bed is a necessity to which I must literally resign myself every day. It takes unnatural effort, but once I'm underway, things become much, much easier.

    Thanks for reading and--anybody else have an unnatural lust for REM sleep?

  2. bronwyyn

    bronwyyn Well-Known Member

    Wow, I could have written this myself. (I just quoted the parts that I really identified with.) In fact, I was going to start a thread about it when I came across this one.

    I am a night person. No matter what meds they put me on to keep me asleep or awake at the "proper" times, I ALWAYS feel better and more energetic at night and I feel like total crap all day long. When I'm awake during the day, it's a constant struggle not to go to bed, but as soon as about 10pm hits, BAM, I'm wide awake. I feel great. (Most of the time). I also have the cyclic problem that I like to sleep about 10-12 hours, but be awake for 12-16. It's so impossible for me to be on a schedule, because I am tired all the time when I have to wake up, instead of just waking up when I'm ready. It's one of the MANY reasons that having a job terrifies me so much.

    I have tried melatonin and the docs have given me downers to take at night and uppers to take for the day, but none of it really works. When I sleep at night, it's fitful and when I'm awake during the day, I'm exhausted. I love the night, I feel comfortable in it.

    I love sleep too, just like you said, because it's an escape. The dreams are sweet and comforting... more like reality that reality is. It's the only time my head doesn't ache or my knee hurt or whatever feels bad. It's so... "comfortable" is the only word I can think of. And the best part is no responsibilities to worry about. No anxiety. No thinking constantly that I should be doing this or that.

    In the thread I was going to write, I was going to ask if anyone else experienced the same thing. I found one person who has... let's see if there are others. :hug:
  3. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Hehe, well thx Bron for replying to my post. Indeed, the rest of the civilized world operates on normal circadian, day/night schedule. So holding a job--unless you have unusual freedom--can be unnatural, stressful and just plain hard.

    "I have tried melatonin and the docs have given me downers to take at night and uppers to take for the day, but none of it really works."

    Mehh. Been there. Hell, I even tried the atypical stimulant modafinil (tradename Provigil). All it did was (much to my disappointment) make feel speedy. :blub: :sad:

    Yes ma'am, ya stumbled upon a friend who relates. (((((bronwyyn))))) :hug:

  4. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    Hi mate

    I struggle with my sleep patterns a lot. My mom always said I didn't sleep much as a baby.

    Normally I would goto bed about 2/3am and then get up early for work. I am dead to the world in the mornings but I still struggle to sleep at nights, sometimes I'd have to get up before I'd even fell asleep.

    I just can't seem to get to sleep properly at night, it might be because I've got the laptop strapped to my face.

    The antidepressants I have been taking have made me very sleepy and lethargic for the last several weeks but now I can feel them picking up my energy levels. I just stay awake until I fall asleep but this morning I got up early.

    When I was taking the sertraline + buproprion I didn't sleep for ages and I didn't feel tired, it was pretty good although unsustainable.

    I have been doing a lot of training lately which is helping to knacker me out. I might be having these unnaturally long days because of a lack of energy output.

    This morning I woke up and checked the time, I felt really tired, and it really seemed like life was worth living just to go and curl up on the sofa and enjoy a nice sleep. When I'm asleep I don't want to get up and when I'm up I don't want to go to sleep.

    So questions,

    What time of the day do you take your medication?
    Do you exercise or perform strenuous activities to knacker yourself out?
    Are you consuming coffee?
    Are you like me and have a bad nighttime routine, i.e sleeping with the laptop?
  5. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    my sleep patterns vary wildly. sometimes I can't sleep and other times I sleep all the time. I'm taking sertraline, risperadone, lithium, gabapentin, and campral for depression, anxiety, bipolar, and alcoholism.

    I take my meds twice a day, am and pm.

    sometimes I do try to wear myself out so I cansleep, but other times am just too depressed to do anything.

    I don't dare drink coffee anymore as it gets me too agitated.

    best of luck to you!:hug:
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