I am in Nashville, TN. Today dealing with permits and other paperwork to have condos built on my former childhood home property. I have writer’s cramp from signing my name. I will be down here until tomorrow afternoon and then I will head back to Louisville. I left home at 5am this morning and the 3 hour drive to Nashville seemed to be much longer of a drive then it did last time. Coffee isn’t a suitable substitute for sleep. Sleep? What’s sleep? That is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. Most of the time (by my own observation) people with emotional problems seem to sleep 10 or more hours a day. This thought has caused me to have some questions about myself. I sleep about 2 hours a day. When I say sleep I mean I lay in bed for 2 hours and sometimes doze off. I only drink coffee a few times a week and only when I get up in the morning. I have never used drugs except for weed and that was more then five years since I smoked. I have been trying to self-diagnose myself. I wouldn’t say I am scared of the dark, but I am uncomfortable in the absence of light. If that makes sense. I have noticed that my mind often doesn’t feel as sharp as I think it should feel. I assume that I am sleep deprived. I really don’t know what to try in order to help myself sleep better. I am beginning to think that my own faith in my own version of self help isn’t adequate. That revelation alone kind of makes me feel like a failure. I have been so use to being independent that thinking I may have to rely on someone else scares me. I mean really causes fear to enter my independent world. I am contemplating talking to a professional about my past. Other then my mom I have never told anyone in real life. I hate putting myself into such a vulnerable position, but I think is beginning to become a must. Tuesday evening I will be back home. I plan on trying to find a shrink or what ever they are called. Any suggestions?