Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Vitreledonellidae, Feb 4, 2010.

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  1. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    I cant really explain this feeling, but Im going to try it anyway. I never experienced it like this, but maybe its because of therapy I look different at it now. Im sure everyone here knows how it is, to lay in bed and not able to fall asleep. For me it always was because I was thinking about everything, all the negative things ofcourse >.< Now lately I lay in bed, trying to fall asleep, just feeling so incredibly down. A few days ago I realised I wasnt even thinking about all the negative shit, I just feel so down anyway. Now the best way for me is to drink lots before Im going to bed, now I cant really afford that and waking up the day after isnt a succes either and Im drinking way too much already, my friends say I already have a drinking problem. Does someone have a good suggestion for me, I already know a few, like trying thinking of every muscle in your body and make sure it is relaxed, counting sheeps really doesnt work, staying up late till you cant keep your eyes open isnt an option either because of the next day and the bad rythm you get. This is just a thing of more things that are make things so hard for me to do. But I dont know, I feel there must be an easy solution for this. Maybe I should just go to therapy again, get some meds again. Really seems like the only solution for now, and it has helped me to move on before, well kinda. I just want something, I feel worser now than the time I harmed myself, OD-ed, attempted suicide and all that shit. Am I more grown up now, knowing that wont help, but than, what will? Should I just accept again Im a useless horrible disgusting piece of crap? I dont wanna do that either because the past months, especially the last one I realised with that I do others more harm. And I know Ive had the attitude like I didnt care about that. I just only wished I didnt care about others, but I do. Sorry maybe this has turned more into a rant
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    My suggestion would be to talk to a doctor or therapist. Maybe they can prescribe something that will help you sleep. You could also check to see if there are any over-the-counter sleep aids. But if you do take anything, whether it's prescription or OTC, it's probably not a good idea to take it with alcohol...
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey sorry but not in a very good place myself so I'm going to have to quote sections or the 2 brain cells I have left will explode if I dont and still try to reply (lol).

    Since I was about 16 I started to go to bed about 2 or 3am and would be up by 6 or 7am. It's been 30 years of doing that. I know exactly what you mean about just laying there thinking. It's as if my mind will not shut off. I think about EVERYTHING!! Good and bad what I did and what will need to be done the next day. So then I'm up writing down lists so that I dont forget anything and back off to bed. Then think about it all over again. And you feel the anger as you look at the clock and see 4am then 4:45 am and then 5:15am and so on.

    It is one solution but not the best. As we are told time and time again it makes the depression worse. Personally when I'm drunk I dont see it that way. I'm just glad for the numbness it offers. But it is not the best there are other ways.

    There are a lot of sites that you can google for good sleep habits. Many of them you may already know but then there is always something new being posted.

    That's the bad part. There is no easy way or solution. They all require that you put in some effort and the want to get better. I think you should try therapy again. Give it about 6 to 8 visists to see if you dont see it differently this time. Try a different therapist. Try doing to a depression support group. You'll find others you can talk to that are or have been where you are. And they have so many resources they can point you towards. And you even make a new friend or two. People that understand what you're battling so it isnt an issue for them.

    Talk to your doctor about some sleep aids that arent addictive because you dont need to add another thing to your growing list. There are ones available that really just help your body slow down and get tired. But you dont wake up the next morning feeling like something ran you over from taking them. Too many give you too solid a sleep and make getting up worse than not falling asleep (lol).

    Try taking a nice leisurely walk each night about an hour before you get ready for bed. Each night at about the same time. Think about the things you would normally think about when you are trying to sleep at this time too. Bring a paper and pen and jot them down if you have to. Or try a hobby or craft that you like but doesnt involve much activity. Painting, drawing, writing anything "quiet". Then an hour after the walk or your hobby, get yourself into a "bedtime" routine. Have your last cig if you smoke. Wash up with a nice warm cloth. If you like to read then take a book up to bed and read. But give yourself a definite time each night to close the book. I like to have a crossword book by my bed. But the easy ones. That way I dont get frustrated trying to think of words. Instead they are easy and usually used again again througout the puzzles. Usually by the 2nd or 3rd puzzle I'm gone.

    Or come back and read this looonnggg post again (lol).

    So many things in life require a routine or schedule for them to work. Sleep is no different. Set up a bed time routine. And avoid taking too many naps during the day especially in the evening. Push yourself to stay awake until the same time each night.

    No... why would want to accept something that isnt true? I know I do it all the time and it hurts like Hell. So dont. Because you arent a piece of crap. You're a human being that is suffering with depression and suicidal thoughts. That you suffer about and with these things and that you worry about others all in themselves prove you are any thing but useless, horrible, disguting and above all else a piece of crap. :arms:

    Nighty night!
  4. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    thank you so much for the advice, Im defenately not going take sleep aids, Ive had them before and I was freaking out, I was hoping to get some anti depressivia again. But walking might be a really good idea, I will try that. Thank you so much for all the advice :smile:
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Just hope you find something that helps or works :arms:
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