Sleeping in the bed I made

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Chargette, Mar 7, 2010.

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  1. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I was raised with the saying, "You made your bed, now sleep in it."

    I've been doing just that. The only thing is the other half is a pack rat and now it's so bad, I'm struggling real hard because of it.

    AA teaches that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is insanity. I've given it time and that is what has to change now.

    The change will be hard. I have to leave. It will take time as it is not easy to do on many levels.

    The key is to survive while I work toward this goal.

    The feelings of suicide are stronger today than they have been in while now. I've have very strange, wild dreams for several days now.

    I'm praying. I know God is with me. I also know I need others to know too.

    Please pray for me right now.
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I will be thinking of you.
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    We are here for you Chargette and know that you are in my prayers, stay strong and lean on God to help you through this difficult time.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I'm not religous but will hold you in my thoughts and ask the great spirit to watch over you!!
  5. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I didn't go to church this morning because I couldn't get out of bed. I found something to do that got me out of the house for a short time and I didn't have to shower to do it.

    The sun is shining so beautifully today. I step outside and the junk is everywhere. It's been raining a lot and the mold is bad.

    But, I went out back to a little patch that didn't have junk and I pulled weeds for awhile.

    A little sunshine, a little plot of earth I could do something about and I feel a little better.

    I'm going to get that shower today and get to church tonight.

    I'm still on shaky ground but I'll keep trying.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Keep talking here okay and yes get that shower reach out to others I hope you keep trying okay we are here for you
  7. ozbound

    ozbound Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sitting here at work sending good thoughts your way
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Awww hun so many things in our lives seem to get out of control, pile up and then one day we really "see" it and it sends us for a spin. You have friends here Vivian. People that guenuine care about you. So please lean on us now like you have so many of us do with you.

    Isn't wonderful how such a small thing like your little patch of weeds you pulled can find a sense of ease or peace for us? That's what you need to do right now. Keep finding the little things that give you a little break from all the big things. :arms:
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