As I lay here and think about my situation and feel like there is no hope at all left for me, I think about how much better I feel if I could just go to sleep and never wake up. I know that would be the hardest thing I have ever decided to do, but I am tired of feeling this way. I am taking all kinds of medicine, they are not helping. I am going to a counselor and even that only seems to help for a little while. I just want to see him again but I want it to be different between us. I want him to hold me close and tell me he loves me the same way I love him. I love him so much. I just cant seem to let go. He made me so happy and treated me so good. But because of all my issues that have nothing really to do with him, I have lost him. I cant do itl. I just can go much longer like this. I know it has only been a week but I feel like it has been forever since I have seen him. All I can keep thinking it exactly this time one week ago I was driving home and was crying and missing him so much already. Now a week later I still miss him even more and feel like I have died inside. I really dont want to be here anymore.