Sleeping with a girl i hate...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by xan, May 18, 2009.


Am I a disgusting excuse for a human being?

  1. Yes

    3 vote(s)
  2. No

    21 vote(s)
  3. Maybe/Other

    2 vote(s)
  1. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    I'm not sure exactly why I do it. Usually she calls me, sometimes I say no, but most of the time I just feel like it'd be easier to say yes than deal with her bitching at me for saying no. I've ignored the call before, pretended I was asleep and then felt horrible for it.

    I really don't like anything about her, the only reason I did the first time was because it'd been a while, I was drunk and she was one of the best friends of my ex who cheated on me. But every time i'm stuck laying there, staring at the ceiling feeling disgusted at myself and wondering how long I should wait before trying to kindly tell her to go.

    I've not had sex with that many women but most have been with girls I've had feelings for or fallen in love with or at least liked. I just... I don't know why I sleep with someone I hate, it's not even for feeling close to someone, I don't... Maybe it's just because it's something that's almost expected of me. Gah I don't know what to do... :dry:

    Just to add: she really isn't interested in anything else which makes it harder, I don't think I'll hurt her feelings but it'd insult her if i said i didn't want to anymore. And if I pretend it's for any deeper reason she'll probably laugh at me and tell me it's just sex... Sorry long post.. I'll shut up :unsure:
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Sounds like casual sex. :shrug:

    I don't see a problem with it, but if you're not happy doing it you should stop.
  3. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Are you doing it to kinda 'feel something'.
    I know I often sleep with people I don't fancy/have no feelings toward/dislike just because I need to be close to somebody, to feel something. I dunno - I suppose it's like self harming in a way. But instead of cutting, I'm letting someone I don't want to be with, inside of me. I'm still torturing myself just to feel human though.
  4. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    if she keeps calling you, than nope...

    but if you don't want to anymore, you should just tell her...
    you might start feeling even worse the more it might happen...
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i've been in this situation way back in my past not for the exact reasons but i know how horrible this feels. why can't you say no? you're not even friends with her are you so why stick around to hear her bitching?

    your body is yours, not hers, and you say you hate her and you don't have any feelings for her. why put yourself through feeling disgusted with yourself?

    maybe like you say you just don't know why and you're going through motions because you feel obligated to her in some way? :dunno:
  6. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    honestly, it's natural to wanna sleep with an attractive girl. I mean there's a girl that hate because we were in a relationship and she cheated on me with some emo **** she only knew for like three days. But I still wanna shag her brains out, just cuz she is so goddamned cute. I mean she's got this little pixie face and this flowing black hair, chalk white skin, huuuge soft, round breasts, and this slender waist and wide hips with...this butt...o my god I can't go on lol. Just kidding :p But seriously, don't hate yourself. It happens to the best of us lol.
  7. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    I dunno why I can't say no... I don't find her that attractive really either.
  8. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    There is nothing wrong in this, just think of it as a booty call. If you do want to get rid of her, just fuck her off and tell her she can't satisfy you anymore
  9. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    Well it's over now so it's fine I guess...
  10. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    I have done this... sex with guys I don't like, have no feelings for... and I didn't feel like a bad person for it... but I did feel empty inside! I feel as though there is no point to it... I was doing it just to BE with someone, to not feel quite so alone... but I usually felt more alone.

    But don't feel bad, or that you're a bad person... cuz you're not!
  11. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I was going to say you were a bad person... but then I realised, I'm just jealous. Nothing wrong with that, but don't lead her into believing there's a relationship ahead.
  12. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    I feel the exact same way as the post above me... you actually aren't a bad person it's human nature.
  13. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Do you think you do it because of loneliness at all or guilty that she might be lonely?
  14. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    Your a guy....

    It is very possible, and even easy to have meaningless sex with a person you have zero feelings for.

    Was she even good in bed? Did she make you feel good, even if it was for just 15 minutes?

    From one guy to another, DONT break it off with her completely. In a month or so, after not getting any, and those urges come up. You will find youself calling her. It happens to the best of us.

    Something tells me deep down you have feelings for this girl, and the situation is hurting you.
  15. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ...i voted 'no' you are not a bad person

    in clarification, just to get it down to the nth degree. . .. you would only be a 'bad person' if you were lying to her, saying you loved her, she is the only one, etc. , just to sleep with her.

    if you are two consenting adults, and both of you are honest, neither of you are bad.

    the only thing i find, is that, sex can be very tricky. you can get confused. sex and love, can be easily mistaken. obviously you don't have a problem with that, i am thinking of her, at this point.

    i always had a personal moral code, strictly myself, no judgment on others, that let me know i am not comfortable with casual sex. masturbation works wonders on that point. the only good sex, for me, is with someone i love, and am faithful to. that is my code only, again, not passing judgment.

    what it all boils down to - is this - how do you feel? when you have sex with her, afterwards, do you feel loved and cherished? or do you feel alone and empty?

    the fact you started this thread hun, is an indicator that you know something is not great about this. . . . maybe you need to talk to your 'buddy' about it.
    get the air all clear and sorted
    just a thought