I thought I was over all of this, but obviously not, and it's scaring me. The last month or so I have felt my moods dropping and dropping. Then I stopped taking my anti depressants EVERY day (i know, i know) and ended up taking them like every other day. Sunday night I took 10 pain killers. Don't know why, wasn't going to kill me. Wasn't even meant to. Since Sunday I have cut 16 times on my leg and scratched about 10 times. Just sat here and did it like an hour ago. I have been drinking more than I like to. I thought I was over all this. My best mate remembers when I was at the lowest point ever, a few years ago. And she's always telling me that she remembers when I was that low but that now I'm out the other side and it's great. I don't feel like I'm out the other side...I feel like I'm slipping right back in there again. I can't do all this again. I cant do the s/h. The waking up in hospital after an attempt. The spending God knows how much money on alcohol. :sad: what do I do?