I see the signs. I'm about to start down cycling. I dont want to!!!!! I want to stay here. But I wont. No matter how much I pretend I can stay... I cant. People have accused me of not reaching out. Not saying help when I should. Well this is the teeny weeny window of opportunity. Someone please grab me and dont let me slide. Dont let me slip into the darkness. Dont let the suidical thoughts and urges take over my life again. Please just let me be me and not my damn bipolar!!!!!!