slipping again (trigger?)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by *dilligaf*, May 17, 2007.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    i was getting over it, went a whole month without doing anything to myself. why all of a sudden have i gone back to it? every day so far this week ive done it. last night was pretty bad. i feel like im loosing it again, slipping and i cant stop myself. i dont know how else to cope, what else to do. my head is crammed full of thought of suicide and s/h.
    im here for one person at the moment (you know who you are wub.gif ) and im so scared im going to hurt them. they deserve o much better, and eventually they will see that.
    things are only going to get worse with my nan, and already im not coping. i couldnt go to the hospital with her yeseterday as i thought she was seeing the consultant and i wasnt up to hearing to bad news..i knew it would push me into doing something. so how do i cope when it gets really bad?
    my doctor doubled my anti-depressants last week (now on 40mg citalopram) and they dont seem to be making any difference.
    most nights i take a few paracetamol, not many...never more than about 10. but its like i trying to build up the courage to do it again properly or something. im scaring myself. i made a plan, i cant do it yet, need to wait for something, but its there still.
    i dont want to go out, i just want to sleep. sleep and cry. im slipping back to that bad place again and i cant help it. :cry:
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    You know im always here for you darling. Dunno what to say but it kills me to know that your hurting like this and theres nothing i can do to help you. Remember how much i care for you and if theres anything i can do for you then please let me know cos i'd be willing to do it. I want you to be safe and happy.

    Love ya x

    ps. woot for wednesday :tongue:
  3. Sakura

    Sakura Well-Known Member

    Hey sam :hug:

    I've learned that one of the best things to do when you've reached that dark, low place is to reach out to others to help pull you back to the the top. *Offers arms open like a lifeline* :hug: :hug:
    So just grab on...hold tight...and let us help pull you back to safety...we'll help you make it back up :hug:

    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2007
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    thanks viks darling :hug:

    sakura...thank you. i took another of my small od's tonight. no idea what im hoping for as its not enough to do any damage. the support from everyone here is keeping me going. :hug:
  5. Sakura

    Sakura Well-Known Member

    *Gladly keeps the circle of support going, by wrapping my arms around you, and drawing on the strength of the site and all of the members who care about you, to keep you going* :hug: :hug: