I feel like I'm losing control over my urges to self harm. I've been pretty good about not doing it the past few months but lately I've been slipping. I did stuff more today than I have in a long time. It scares me that I don't even really care. I don't wanna be apathetic to it, but I feel like it's getting to that point again. I really hate myself for doing it. I hate myself, and that makes me want to do it more. I feel like I'm failing and it's all for nothing, so why even bother denying myself something that makes things a bit easier.