small steps

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MdngtRain, Sep 14, 2013.

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  1. MdngtRain

    MdngtRain Well-Known Member

    It's the little steps that bring such relief. Re-homed some of my animals today. One less thing for the wife to deal with later. I'm just tired. This will help a lot. Still a lot of small steps to go, but today's actions helped. They all think it's simply because I feel overwhelmed. I will not tell them otherwise (after all, feeling overwhelmed is part of all this). I just want out. fIf I wouldn't be worried about my family being traumatized, I would do it today. But they are here, No way. They have been through enough with me. Not going to make it worse today.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    then stop making these plans and start getting professional help to get you well so your family will not suffer like i have suffered for many dam years ok It never leaves us the guilt i don't know why you think your family will be ok because they won't your wife won't you will just be passing on your pain that is it instead get help ok it is there get it now
  3. MdngtRain

    MdngtRain Well-Known Member

    i'm trying. it makes no difference. meds make things worse (and I have tried a ton), hospitals don't know what to do with me, all the usual therapies have no effect... I'm just broken beyond repair. :( but I will shut up now.
    I'm sorry you lost someone...
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    that must have been hard on you rehoming all the animals

    what sort of animals did you have....?
  5. MdngtRain

    MdngtRain Well-Known Member

    I used to breed lizards, but not any more (to much effort). I let go of a bunch, as well as one very nervous snake that I did not have the energy to work with (large, nervous snake = being bitten a lot)... we still have a ton of animals, but the herp collection is going down. Its just hard because I still failed them.
  6. please forgive me

    please forgive me Account Closed

    i understand the feeling of guilt like you failed them, i feel i failed my friend who committed suicide, as a survivor, (for now) I feel the pain and suffering of losing him, i know your animals seem to mean so much to you, you cared for them that is not failing them. from just losing my best friend i can say your family will be traumatized its so hard to lose a loved one. i hope the overwhelming feeling goes away and you find some peace
  7. MdngtRain

    MdngtRain Well-Known Member

    Thanks. Me too, though I am not holding my breath.
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