Smile :)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by letmedisappear, Dec 12, 2012.

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  1. letmedisappear

    letmedisappear Well-Known Member

    Smile smile smile smile smile

    Oh, one more just in case.

    Hide the scars and hold back tears, walk with your chin up, and pay attention in class. Do the homework, don't fail, succeed, look at the bright side, dance a little, ask your question, speak up, we can't hear you, Heather, speak louder, LOUDER, come on Heather, TELL SOMEONE

    I can't do this. No.

    Then subtle hints.

    Fine. Only for him.

    There are so many things wrong with myself and how I am shaping my life and how I am living my life. I am far too dependent. I am awful in various ways. Fuck - why am I even trying to explain myself? I know my reasons.

    I want to act, tonight. I have a slew of methods right at my disposal. But do I wait? Not closer to Christmas, I'd just be 50 times more terrible. And I'm not living to see 2013. I don't want to be here. I don't want to make others suffer by being here. I am always fucking wrong. Probably wrong now too. I don't fucking even KNOW.


    GAHHHH I WANT TO SCREAM. I can't be upset because then I'll fall into a depression and do NOTHING at least with anger I'm active, positively and negatively and neutrally...in all directions. Just so much energy, I shake.

    Tell him
    Just wait! Another 2 minutes.

    He might still be up then.
    Then 3 minutes


    FUCK
    Just get this OVER with.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Use your anger hun i have used it to to pull me out of the dam darkness the dam sadness hun Use your anger to get you the support the help that is there to get you stronger ok
    Please hun you are worth the fight don't give in now hun Keep talking keep reaching out ok Talk to someone that will LISTEN and HEAR you hun talk to you doctor get some help ok hugs
     
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Heather, I agree - you are worth the fight honey. Whatever your reasons are, there are ways to bring healing to them. It's the journey upwards and out, (rather than the other way). We're all of us on the journey finding that 'the truth will set us free' - even when we don't know where to begin, but we can find the ladder out of our pit with just a little light to begin with - only need to find the first rung and hang on :)
     
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