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Smiling? WHAT??????????

#1
I just read somewhere recently that smiling is necessary to make friends. Really?

OK, so there are times when that kind of social thing has its place, but the way this world is falling apart so rapidly, the only way to smile is to do it fake. We need the serious look of determination and resolve that stands in the gap and says ENOUGH... IS ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Listen, if you and I see someone who's standing alone somewhere and he or she looks angry and depressed, let's not ignore them. They are the ones who understand the messed up world best, and know how to fix it best. Some of you are reading this and you know exactly how it feels, AND SO DO I! I would much rather associate with a negative person than some happy whack who only pretends because of social customs, like socializing has become the new Christian God. Do that and be a good social patriot. Get a thousand facebroke friends so you can have more friends. Nonsense!

Am I antisocial? Listen, I am anti in all of the following: slander, gossip, interrupting, faking, hype smiling, fornication, know-it-all talking without caring, conforming, pressuring, manipulating, one-upping, smart phone whatever-ing... I'll let you decide for yourself if any of these things makes me antisocial.

But understand, I would much rather associate with someone who is genuinely angry and sad with a lot of serious stuff to unload, than some shallow guy with a fake smile with obviously no soul in his eyes to go along with it. Let's stop wearing masks and get real about all of it. The world needs a fixing, and we have more resources to do a better job than they. They may have better "social lives", whatever that means, but we have the better resolve and relatability.

I pray we will all stand in the gap and restore the values of relationships that matter in order to rise our world out of its moral shipwreck. God Bless.
 

C4RL4

Well-Known Member
#2
That's a totally understandable view, and I don't think you are antisocial.
Antisocial is mostly directed at people who disturbs peace or commit acts of vandalism. I'm going to asume you not.
Rejecting being sociable is perfectly fine, but you see, is just human building relationships with others, everybody can find people they can relate to and get close to.
Similing is just a social technique, it makes others feel you are approchable and more comfortable around you, but over all, it can also lightning someone's mood, it can even be done by helping someone, give a greeting or just saying please and thank you.
Of course, being open and true to yourself is always the best, so being nice is something that's done just when you have it in you, not being in the mood for that is just as a valid.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#4
Obviously no one is happy or smiling all the time, and sometimes yeah, we fake it. But if you're trying to make friends, presumably you're talking to people whose company you enjoy, so it's helpful to show that.
 
#5
That's not what I said. What I'm saying is that not everyone who doesn't smile is a social mess. I am aware about those who smile and mean it, I'm aware those kinds still exist, and that's great. We need more of them. What I'm saying is we should stop judging those who don't smile and toss them into the corner of social gathering rooms. Someone who refuses to smile because the world needs a fixin has every right to not smile, and the rest of us, the majority of whom refuse to approach them which is bad, ought to respect them and be a friend to them. Many are sad and angry exactly because the rest of us don't approach them and empathize with them, and that needs to change across the board of western culture. It will decrease depression and suicides and turn the tide on our moral values.

We're all create equal whether we smile or not, with the right to the same love and compassion as everyone else, and if that wasn't clear in my original text, I apologize. God Bless.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#6
That's not what I said. What I'm saying is that not everyone who doesn't smile is a social mess. I am aware about those who smile and mean it, I'm aware those kinds still exist, and that's great. We need more of them. What I'm saying is we should stop judging those who don't smile and toss them into the corner of social gathering rooms. Someone who refuses to smile because the world needs a fixin has every right to not smile, and the rest of us, the majority of whom refuse to approach them which is bad, ought to respect them and be a friend to them. Many are sad and angry exactly because the rest of us don't approach them and empathize with them, and that needs to change across the board of western culture. It will decrease depression and suicides and turn the tide on our moral values.

We're all create equal whether we smile or not, with the right to the same love and compassion as everyone else, and if that wasn't clear in my original text, I apologize. God Bless.
That makes sense. That's why sometimes it's so much easier to talk to people online, we can be ourselves without all the preconceived judgment.
 
#7
That makes sense. That's why sometimes it's so much easier to talk to people online, we can be ourselves without all the preconceived judgment.
Exactly, and by the way, that was a response to the previous post and not so much you. Again, I have nothing against smiling, as long as it's sincere, and I'm pretty good with an 8 out of 10 confidence at telling when it's fake or not. But if the smiling person carries the lit wick on him, and the unsmiling person doesn't, it's up to the smiling person to light up the unlit rather than play safe with all the others who also have light. And sometimes it will take time and skill, but that's no excuse. Real people skill involves noticing, and then approaching, and then investment into helping the person. Labeling, ignoring, eye contact avoiding and rejecting will destroy both parties. It really will.

There is never, EVER, an excuse for passing this kind of judgment. Why? Because we were all babies once. Do you think babies are born with hostility. NO! So let's be friends to those who seem unfriendly and give them a chance. We all have a "past" don't we? We've all messed up, haven't we? Why should some be forgiven and others not? Who made them, and who made you and I?
 

Sunspots

To Wish Impossible Things
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#9
There was a boy in my group of friends at college. I really liked him, he was interesting. An activist, very political, really into environmental causes (and this was back in the 80s so not many people cared about it). But I had the distinct impression that he didn't like me.
A while later I was going through a bad patch with depression and he started talking to me. After getting to know each other better he told me he thought I was a bit of a bimbo because I was always smiling and laughing but now he takes me more seriously.
 

Dots

Misknown Member
#10
I like your POV. I am not by default a smiler. (This doesn't make me negative). I'd just rather smile genuinely than because it is expected. If I don't smile, it's usually not a reflection of the people around me, but the fact that I am going through a really tough time, don't know you and have an obscure sense of humor.

But because I don't open myself that way, people assume I'm asocial (wrongfully considered anti-social). I think I may be very social in a society that was more accepting of anger and sadness and things that aren't all rainbows and lollipops and pretzels. Once upon a time, I was more social before those things took over my life.
 

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