Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kemra, Oct 9, 2010.

  1. Kemra

    Kemra Well-Known Member

    Just gotta blow off some of this anger. Was stuck in the psych ward a month, everyday I'd go out to the smoking area and be hassled and even argued with by people wanting a cigarette. No matter how many times I tried explaining I didn't have many and didn't have enough cash to buy more they'd keep at me till I gave them one, resulting in days where I'd run out. Its tough enough being locked up all day, receiving ECT treatment and talking to a never-ending parade of shrinks about stuff I'd rather not talk about without being forced to deal with withdrawal from my only addiction and the only thing that keeps me calm somedays..

    Sooo.. I finally get into the hospital housing which my shrinks and psychologists tell me is so much better, and it is, its great, so quiet, I have a little freedom, my computer and other small things that make it so much better than the psych ward. But I'm still being hassled for smokes, and I mean hassled, and for cash as well now which I don't have. All the other people in here with me are on the DSP (disability support pension) which I'm still waiting on, they get 300 dollars more a fortnight than I do and they're not still paying rent and household bills like I am. Atm I can't handle the constant harrassment and just give them a damn smoke and even apologise for not being able to lend them money. But inside I'm about ready to just punch the next person or scream and yell at them, especially one guy tonight who was at me for half an hour complaining about his mental illness and how he can't handle the voices in his head when he has no ciggarettes, jesus, welcome to the club, what does he think, that I'm in here by choice on holidays?

    People wonder why I'm so quiet and stay in my room all day..

    I know its a bad habit and I should quit but damn things have me in a deathgrip.

    Feel better now, sorry about the rant.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I put a sign on the outside of my door saying no cigarettes no money so don't ask Just NO and walk away they are taking advantage of you they can get out and get smokes just like you so tell them to back off I don't blame you for being upset glad you could vent and rant about it at least that helps take care
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Glad to hear that venting helped ya a bit. And I know too well what you're saying and how you feel. And the rules are printed and explained to each patient. One of them being that there is absolutely no asking for or borrowing cigarettes or money from other patients!!!!

    And there I was day after day shelling out to others. And going without for myself. tried once to approach someone to ask for a smoke. But couldnt do it!!!!

    One stay in the pward, was when smokes here jumped way up in price. The morning of the price raise I went out to the smokers corner of the ward to have a smoke. Honest it felt like every low life and creature that wanted a smoke was there, asking everyone. I have extreme social anxieties and phobias. and am prone to panic attacks. I guess I had been asked once too many times. The next poor soul that asked, well, I snapped and turned into a chicken. I mean a chicken!! I started clucking, stratching in the ground with my foot and flapping my folded arms! The guy freaked out and ran away. And not another soul asked me that day.

    True story. The security guys that watched it all happen on the video camera came and told me later that day.... I've worked here almost 15 years now and have never ever seen anything like that. Lady either you are the most craziest person here or the sanest!!!" He had to show me the footage cuz I didnt remember doing it. It was lmfao funny though.

    I kow you hate it. And I love the ones that say "can I get a smoke off you. I'll pay you back when I get some." But then you see them with a pack and they arent giving to anyone!!!!

    Something to try is to only take 1 cigarette with you. Then when they ask you can honestly say sorry this is my only one. When they see you a couple of times with only one smoke they generally assume you're bumming them too. This one is mean but works too. When a couple of them are standing around and you know they are looking, start picking through the butts in the ashtray, making it look like your searching for any with some tobacco left. Not too many people want to "borrow" rollies from the ashtray!!!

    It helps you to cut down a bit too. I know with only one smoke I went back in sooner. But you either have to keep saying no, or dont even reply at all. Eventually they do get the point.

    Hopefully you will find the strength one day to not have to return to the hospital. And maybe the strength to quite smoking too. Me, never gonna happen on either scenerio. Gotta smoke? lol :arms:
  4. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    You get to smoke, they have banned it on campus here. they give us a nicotins patch, as if those help, bastards.
  5. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Do like i did and smoke in the toilet from your room. Just raise your arm and let the smokes from the cigarette escape through the air vent. I know i know, not nice of me, but i really didn't care since i was held against my will and deprived of my rights.
  6. Kemra

    Kemra Well-Known Member

    Thankyou for the support everyone, I ended up complaining to the nurses about it when they asked me how I was settling in, one of them just laughed and told me they have a quit program :blink: So now if I need a smoke I wander to the door of the smoking area and if any of the regular 'got a smoke?' people are there I just go off and make a coffee till they go back inside. Also I kept an empty packet and just put 2 in it so I can open the pack and show them and say thats all I have left (thanks to itmahanh for that idea) in case they see me out there and wander back out.

    Wish I really did have some money though lol, got offered a tv for 50 dollars last night by one of them after cash. Think I might give quitting a try.. gonna be a long 3 months otherwise.