so advice please

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by wheresmysheep, Dec 9, 2010.

  1. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I broke up with my bf of 5years, 5months ago now.
    I have a new person in my life, who worships me. Does everything i could ask and ten times more.
    But all that plays on my mind, is why he couldnt do it for me, why he ignored and treated me how he did.
    I do still love him on some level, but i dont want to get back with him as i kbow he wont treat me as well as i am being treated now.
    So how do i stop the comparison, the unanswered wishes and hopes.
    Im hurting a lot right now
  2. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    5 years is a long relationship, so naturally part of you is going to cling for a bit. its not what you want, but its what youre comfy with, its what you know.

    im not sure how to get rid of those left over feelings, aside from telling you it should fade with time, but maybe letting yourself feel happy when you are around your new guy it will help. really just let yourself have feelings for him.
  3. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I do have feelings for new person. Thats another factor in why im hurting too.
    Also known new person for about 3years now. So yeah.....
  4. victor

    victor Account Closed

    i could say my opinion as i went thru this just recently, but i dont think u would like it
  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I want all opinions, please
  6. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Well, I think its just possible that you got into the new relationship a bit too soon. 5 years is a very long time. Plus from what it sounds like the previous relationship was on the abusive side? maybe not physical but bordering on emotional abuse? Those types of things can tend to stay in your thoughts and you are likely going to thinking and comparing because you may be a bit worried that the new relationship will turn the same way?

    These are all just possibilities... Honestly it might just take time. Your new boyfriend is likely to help you move on... you'll start to realize more and more that they are great to you and this will hopefully help your thoughts of your ex... I'm not an expert by any means though... I may even be wrong.
  7. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Sometimes letting true love is letting go E, remember the good times and not the bad. Learn from this and use the experience to prevent it happening again.
    I constantly battle with the thoughts of my ex wife and her new man with my children, but am gradually letting go.
    Slowly i am realising that by letting these bad emotions go, sometimes even handing them to the person who hurts me the most, gives room in my soul for the good feelings again.
    I think your heart still burns a little for him, let go, wish him well, hope that he has learnt from his mistakes too, it is time to turn the new page, the old ink will keep bleeding through, so keep turning.