So afraid for brother's life

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Hertz3, Nov 7, 2011.

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  1. Hertz3

    Hertz3 New Member

    Not sure if I’m posting in the right place… If this is posted in the wrong place please feel free to move it.

    This is about my brother, not me. Since both of our parents are gone, it is just us now, I really cannot afford to and don’t want to lost him. So I’m really afraid for him and trying to help him out but it is so difficult since he’s so good at hiding everything that I didn’t even really know what he was facing until just about half a year ago.
    My brother is 32 years old and deaf. He has a decent career and is doing well in life and he seems to be happy to most people. However deep inside, he’s really lonely.

    I only found out because not long after I moved in with my finance, my brother pretty much stops stay in touch. When I finally caught up with him, he told me that since I have my own life and all of his friends are either married or have kids, he don’t really see much point in living any more.
    He says he’s just tired of life because he feels like nobody ever wants to be around him at all. He complained that at most, if he’s lucky, women will want to be with him because of his good looking just until they’re done with him or find someone else. But most of the time they just lead him on or flakes on him.
    He also complains that most of his friends no longer want to be around him because he’s single.

    I have tried to help him get a date but… women usually flake on him. It is so frustrating. I manage to get him to do online dating, he did manage to get few replies and I even helped him with answering and everything just to make sure he isn’t doing anything stupid. To my surprise, he barely needs any help. But when he tells them he’s deaf, they stop talking to him and if they didn’t, they usually lost interest in him.
    He’s really active in many different things, but he doesn’t really connect with most people at all besides very few.

    So I’m just so lost now. I am really afraid that he’ll not show any clue and go suicide at any time. I don’t know what to do any more. I’m really hoping there are a advice or something that can help.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Is there not a group your brother can join for the hearing impaired Can he volunteer at a hearing center that teaches people who are deaf how to sign language that way he would meet people who also are deaf and who do not judge his impairment
     
  3. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    I agree with these sentiments. I think he needs to meet other people who are like him. Unfortunately people are a little selfish - they don't want to be with someone who's a little disabled. They see it as a bit of a burden, probably, even if being with him would only mean a little more effort on the woman's part to communicate.
     
  4. Hertz3

    Hertz3 New Member

    My brother used to mainstream until our parents decide to send him to school for deaf for a year. He hate it.

    As for deaf community, he don't get along with them at all and hate it. He says it is too much like a small city where everybody is into each other business and know every details of your life and there are always so much drama.

    My brother is a very private person (hence why it was a surprise he wasn't happy with life) and really don't like to be involved in others business. Deaf community is something he really don't want to be part of.

    He have a few deaf friends, but he's very distant and they barely know a thing about him. In fact they know more about me and my life than they know about his!
     
  5. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    Well, what's the deaf community like? Isn't there another group of deaf people he could talk to?

    Does he find it difficult to relate to others?

    Well, he needs to make new friends then and get close to them. That's not easy, I understand that, but he needs to meet someone who can relate to someone very well.
     
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