I was last here in 2013. You can find my rantings here: https://www.suicideforum.com/threads/why-bother-i-will-never-be-part-of-a-group.130760/ In short I was very lonely, and dealing with bad situational depression. I got lucky. I figured out why, and it got fixed. I ran into a woman that was beautiful, caring, and comforting. I hate to say it, but the most important trait she possessed, was beauty. I had felt for decades that #1 It was shallow to chase women based on their looks, and #2 That I was not good enough to land a mate that looked good. (I'm not "ugly", but i'm no Adonis either) Then it happened, and it stroked my ego. I started actually feeling good about myself. After that I had a terrific date with another lovely woman that liked me (I'm poly). It didn't work out, but I was not crushed either. And it didn't fail because of my looks. On top of that, I recently I found another gorgeous women, that openly acts like she feels the same way about me. And, I feel like I could die happy now. I really do. There is still a twinge of guilt to it. Like this is superficial. But, it worked. And I actually feel hopeful again. I just wanted people to know that. I'm not just bitter and angry. I wanted to come back and give a little hope back. Thank you.