So Alone - So Struggling

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~Tosh~, Oct 5, 2008.

  1. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    I'm only 19 yrs old and already a struggling single mum to 6 month old Emma, who was born 2 days before my 19th birthday - 23/03/08.

    i was never the most stable person before having her, i always cut, never ate, and constantly thought of suicide, but i plodded on through my crappy life..

    When i found out i was pregnant... i felt... like i knew i'd fail her, that i would't be a good mum, and it reminded me of my baby sister who died..

    i though me and her dad would be together forever - we'd even talked of mariage.. i love him... but he left me, asked me to move out so now im a single mother, who's very isolated and feels lonely... Are there any single mums or any mums who can help me out with advice or just a friend??

    i cut more than ever an constantly thik of suicide ... i need to stop... if i lost her... i would have nothing left :blub: i feel i cant cope with her, i find myself getting frustrated with her but i know its not her fault.... i cant cope with the crying an constant want for attention... i cant leave the room without her startin to scream...

    even the mental health services wont help me, they think im fine and what i feel is normal....

    i need to get so much out of my head... i need to scream!

    anyone can you help??
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It sounds so difficult to take care of yourself and your say that the mental health services will not help you, do they know of your su thoughts? it seems this would be a reason to treat you...not many words of wisdom for you but wanted you to know that there are many ppl here who relate to what you have posted...please PM me if I can be there for you...big hugs, J
  3. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    Yes i told them the truth, i told them everythin, about all the thoughts, the cutting, i even showed them the recent cuttng session and still nothing... :blub:
  4. lsajw1

    lsajw1 Member

    I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. It sounds to me like you're suffering from post-partum depression. I'm based in the UK, where it's now widelyrecognised but I don't think it is in the US. If you've suffered from depression previously then you're very likely to get it.

    I've got a 5 month old and feel exactly as you've described. I'm on anti-depressants and see a psychotherapist who specialises in post-partum depression. I'm feeling much better than I did. I promise you that it will get better but you do need support.

    I know exactly how horrendous the constant crying and demanding can make you feel. It feels like it is constant and you've no time to be you anymore. Just keep thinking about howmuch you love her and that she doesn't mean to be so demanding. She just loves her mummy so much and wants a cuddle.

    Keep talking on here and lean on us for support. I took 2 overdoses a month ago and do still think about trying again (I guess that's why I'm on here!), but the urge isn't as strong. I pray you find the strength to get through this hon.

  5. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    I live in the UK... i told them everything but they just brushed me off... i so bad want to end things.. i cant cope :blub: noone sees im struggling... i cry alll the time...