So alone...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rainfall, Jun 26, 2012.

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  1. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    Here I am...again. It seems that I can't ever escape the craving to end my life.*

    I sometimes have a few weeks of happiness, but something happens, usually my fault, that results in me being alone, even my gf can't help anymore. She's perfect, but that's the problem, I'm not good enough for her. She deserves better than an insane, fugly, depressed guy like me. She'll one day find another angel like her, and she'll leave me.

    I can't be honest with anyone anymore, not even my own family. I pretend that I don't have MDD (thank god for doctor-patient confidentiality), just so they don't think they're not hopeless at helping me.

    If they really knew what happened when I close my bedroom door, if they really knew how much I cry, if they really knew how much I punish myself...

    I guess I'm just like this because I feel alone. I've tried buddy chat here, hasn't helped. I've tried everything I can to fond a friend that won't turn such luck. I always seem to lose everyone I've ever loved, just because I'm not good enough, or strong enough, to hold on.*
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Your girlfriend is with you for a reason, she loves you for the person that you are. Obviously you aren't any of those bad things or she would not be with you. I'm sorry that you keep losing friends, I know how that can talk to me if you need someone to talk to.
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