so angry at someone who i trusted

[Joan alone]

fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK people.
this person who i thought was my friend at uni is now being such a total bitch i cant believe it. she's antagonising me, calling me names, and then saying that she doesnt know of anyone at uni who actually likes me. uh, when i was sick for those 2 weeks, everyone worried.
i mean, seriously you fucking idiotic *****, wtf is your problem? if your jealous well suck it up. dont call me jealous of your disgusting pighouse of a house, your loser bf, and your inability to make friends and talk to people.

i have to post what she said to me here, cos seriously, if i dont, then i will smash things, and i dont really want to kill my laptop.

it actually started with me being polite.
read please, but after her first reply i got really pissed. she lies so much. she hasnt tried to make an effort at all...

me: i would like the book i lent you on christianity back. please and thankyou.

her: lol sure. what is your problem? you try to flirt with my bf right in front of me, u completely walk all over my feelings, despite that i have tried to reach out to you. i said that if u actually came and talked to me that we could work it out and u just ignore me. you need to have a long hard look t yourself and how u treat people otherwise u will always drive away anyone near you

me: i dont see anything amusing with my request. getting it tomorrow would be appreciated. and my condolences for losing my friendship, but i dont like phonies or ppl who try to make others feel bad so they can feel good about themselves.

her: lol u think i actually feel bad about losing u as a friend. u revealed your true colours. it was constantly embarrassing being your friend. u have no idea how to act normally in social situations, u were frequently rude to the people around u (including my friends) but i put up with all that because i thought u were a nice person, but u dont care that other people have feelings.

me: you have friends? that ive met? haha. well im not going to apologise for my natural behaviour. as ive said before, you dont like something, tell me at that moment, not weeks later. have fun being a social outcast...you think i cant act appropriately in social situations?take a good long look at yourself god girl.

her: yes i have great friends and a loving boyfriend, your spite is out of pathetic jealousy. lol how can u call me an outcast when i dont know of anyone at uni who likes you. anyways i cant talk to your victim complex will mean that u demonise me to avoid examining your behavior. its not north (i think she meant worth) tring to reason with you

anyway, so thats why im pissed. i havent replied, and nor am i likely to, i would much rather just punch her. not that i will- i dont do physical violence to anyone but me.

so, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ITS FUCKING HIGHSCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN, EXCEPT THIS PERSON IS FRIGGING 23. HOW IMMATURE?! i am who i am, and if you dont like that then tell me. thats all i want from people. if you think ive been mean, tell me. dont fucking wait and wait and wait and then try to make it all my fault.
i cant act in social situations?!

ok, ok, im leaving this. ive said what i want. ive computer screamed, and ive got her off facebook.
i can do this. i can go to uni and participate and i can overcome my depression. at least when im angry i have motivation and energy.

thanks for 'listening'

 

[Sadeyes]

All I can say is 'her loss'; I am sure you will find people who are worthy of your time...friends should support and elevate you, not use what you have said to them against you...be the bigger person, ignore her and move on...if you see each other, think to yourself, 'how sad she is', and do not give her anything else...at least 'she' showed her true hand and you do not have to spend time with someone who sounded like she belittled you when you were not there...she did you a favor!

 

[StevenSiew]

Joan Alone.

The symptoms "your friend" exhibit is called Narcissism. It's one where when they are place in a awkward position to turn around and "redefine reality" to make you look like an awful person.

The basic idea is that if they make you look like "an awful person" then they must by relative comparison be "an okay person". Do not worry about that they say to you. What they said is completely for their own consumption. What you think is of no concern to them.

In their universe, only they exists (for real), you and other people around them are merely chess pieces for them to manipulate to "reconstruct their realities". This is why the way they speak is so alien to your own world view.

I suggest that you read up on the Narcissist Personality Disorder, once you know their purpose and their tactics, it's the easiest thing in the world to defend against them.

PS: they will continue to poo poo you behind your back, so watch out.

Steven Siew

 

[Joan alone]

steven,
i know about narcissistic pd, im borderline with parts of histrionic and schizotypal myself, but it still hurt. i dont even want to defend myself against her- its too much effort for nothing.

but thank you both for those words. i still have one safe place to come.