So angry

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by lisal, May 14, 2007.

  1. lisal

    lisal New Member

    First post and it's a shocker.

    My aunt killed herself yesterday (mother's day) leaving behind two children and a husband.
    I am beyond angry. I want her to come back so i can shake her.
    This is the last in a series of attempts. The previous one she had packed her bag for the hospital, knowing she would be found and saved. I can't help but feel that this is another attempt for attention that went horribly wrong.
    I am in shock. I can't believe that anyone would willingly put their family through this pain. I know this is just a stage in my grief, and that one day i will come to accept that her pain was all pervading and did not allow thoughts of her family to penetrate. But right now, i want to scream and cry and rant and rave for the hideous pain my family is in.
    I was never close to her. I never even LIKED her. But to see my father, her children, her husband, hell my whole family suffer because of her actions is killing me.
    I'm sorry if this offends anyone that is in a similar position. I do not understand your pain, i can't pretend to. It's rude of me to tell you to think of others. I'm sorry.
    I just can't believe it.
  2. Jackson

    Jackson Guest

    Perfectly natural reaction. It was a messed up thing to do(not to mention the timing). She was obviously in a lot of pain, but that doesn't mean you should try to extinguish your anger and just feel pity for her. Let yourself feel what you feel, all in its own time and place. It's great you care about your family's well-being so much. Since you didn't really care for your aunt, you can focus on comforting those who were closest to her, as I'm sure they are in tremendous pain. Discussing everything with them will probably help everyone to some degree. Hopefully time will help, too. Also, feel free to vent here anytime. Sorry again for your family's loss.
  3. Darkness N Light

    Darkness N Light Staff Alumni

    What you are feeling is a perfect natural reaction like Jackson said. I have said the same thing many times myself even though I was also thinking of me I was thinking of my fiance's mother, father, brother and our unborn child. I was also thinking of his friends and other family members.
    I can tell you however that sometime down the road you will get over the anger but it will take quite a while. It has been 5 years now since I lost my fiance and I have gotten over being angry at him well mostly over it but at times I slip back into being very angry with him.
    She was in to much pain to think about what she was doing sweetie. A lot of people get that way and do not think about about others when they are doing something that they themselves think they want. And remember I said THINK. Not that they know they want it but they are thinking that they want it. Unfortunately this time she got was she thought she wanted and doesn't have the chance to make sure it is what she wanted because no one found her in time this time around. If you ever need to talk and just rant about it feel free to send me a pm sweetie and I will get back to you as soon as I get it. Take care sweetheart and remember we are here for you and feel for you. :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss

    With Love,
    Crystal :hug: :cheekkiss