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So apparently I'm going home

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Ouroboros

SF Supporter
#1
I've been told I can go home.

They know I've still got the same feelings I had last week, I haven't acted on anything here (except for taking the cords out my shorts and bag and practicing knots and then looking for somewhere to use them - but I handed them in) because the likelyhood is I will be caught and sectionned (so far it's been voluntary/informal) plus there are far fewer opportunities to do things here to hurt myself. They know these things. But doctor asked if being on the ward is helping, which it isn't, i'm not getting better. My anxiety is right up because i'm constantly worried about germs and there are so many different people here. I don't like being around lots of people (see other thread where i've been diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder and ocd, among other things). It's just adding to my feeling of being broken and not wanting to be here anymore. Nothing has been done about my medication yet - that will be done at home and I will have the crisis team working with me daily.

Initially being admitted was because of my inability to talk to a panel of strangers asking me questions plus the suicidal thoughts and behaviours. They were worried I wouldn't be able to work with them, so maybe being here and interacting with the doctors and other staff as much as I have has made them feel I can go home and continue treatment there? My partner spoke to the doctor and asked if the thoughts had gone, she said well no. He is concerned that the thoughts are still there and if he leaves me on my own or at night when he's sleeping something could happen. Doctor said thats what the crisis team is there for. so ok? He asked if I could come back in to the unit if needed, and she wasn't keen as they don't want people bouncing in and out because of covid. I want to go home because I want to be able to go outside (I havent been allowed out except the small courtyard where everyone smokes which makes me feel sick and gives me a headache), I also want to see partner and little one and have hugs. I am worried though and feel vulnerable.

A few other people have been discharged this week, I don't know everything about them but one definitely didn't seem ready by way she has been acting, hopefully she has gone somewhere with adequate support. Part of me wonders whether they are trying to free up space for more urgent patients, maybe space is limited right now. Hopefully the crisis team will be enough at home, and i don't know, maybe I won't do things at home that i'm not supposed to. I know I don't want to stay here, didn't want to come here in first place, but there were few options at the time.

So I'm either going home tomorrow (wednesday) evening or thursday morning depending on partner getting little one to his parents and such. I'm nervous but I do want to get out of here.
 
#3
I guess if there is a way to make being at home safe, or just generally to feel better, then being at home would be good.

Is there anything that you think of that would make things better? Do you want suggestions?
 

Wispiwill

Well-Known Member
#6
If being there isn't really helping and they need the space - then, I guess, it makes sense to send you home. I hope that you get all the support you need at home and, at least, you won't be in as stressful an environment.

Good luck and Take care.
 

Ouroboros

SF Supporter
#7
I guess if there is a way to make being at home safe, or just generally to feel better, then being at home would be good.

Is there anything that you think of that would make things better? Do you want suggestions?
I would suggest making a plan for your days before you get released. That way you know what you will be doing. Less free time is less time to ruminate.

Here for ya Hannah *hug
Thanks, any ideas or tips welcome, I'm just winging it right now
 
#8
I recommend acupuncture and traditional Chinese herbal medicine here a lot, and I think it could help you. www.acmac.net has a list of community-style acupuncture clinics in the UK (community-style clinics are less expensive than private clinics). There are also some teaching clinics that offer low-cost or free treatments; most of them are in or near London.

I found not consuming anything raw, served cold (including water), or that wasn't freshly cooked to be very helpful.

It's just a wild guess, but I wonder if you might have a condition which in Chinese medicine is known as "Blood Deficiency". Symptoms include vertigo, thinness, blurred vision or spots in front of the eyes, numbness or trembling in the extremities, dry skin, dry hair, and palor of the face, tongue, lips, or nail beds. Western pathologies include anemia, palpitations, nervousness, anxiety, amenorrhea, dysmenorrhea, lower back pain, night sweats, and headaches including some types of migraine.
 
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