So beyond torn on this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Borderlined, Mar 12, 2008.

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  1. Borderlined

    Borderlined New Member

    These past few months have been a rollercoaster for me. I quit my job back in january because it involved me being alone in a car for hours on end. After i quit, i found this wonderful place they can actually take your blood and look at it under a microscope thats hooked up to the TV and you can see your blood. The people then tell you what you are seeing, why some things shouldn't be there, etc. They then get you on herbs and honestly, since i went there, ive been off my anti-depressents.

    The thing i learned that was my problem is thats there are parasites in your body that can affect the way you feel mentally. These parasites also hatch with the lunar cycle (think I'm getting a little weird/sci-fi? Ive been told all prisons go on lockdown on a full moon and police report more deaths, assaults on full moons. Something is effecting our emotions...) My problem now is last night, my dad came down and told me that he cant pay for it anymore. It is expensive, but he promised that he would do whatever he needs to in order to get me better. The problem is though is that he is 62, and after a failure of his own self employment(it failed because he spent too much time alone-see a chain here?). I don't know what to do. I want my dad to honor his word, but I'm 21, i may be able to work again i don't know. Between my depression, another thing that is holding me back is i have severe anxiety with girls. I don't even know why, im an attractive guy, i just over analyze everything i say. What does everyone here think?
  2. ~Serendipity~

    ~Serendipity~ Active Member

    Im sure if your dad could afford to keep you there, he would. He sounds like he is a good dad and has been very supportive.

    Try to make the best of the situation and take what you have learnt from your time there. If you have been able to come off your meds then you have made good progress just try not to analize the big picture and take each day as it comes. It will take time but you can make it.

  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm so glad to hear that things are slowly turning around for you. Like previously posted, take what you can from the visits you have already had. Or could you possibly get a part time job say maybe stocking after hours at a retail outlet (less contact with others) and then offer to help cover some of the costs with your dad. You are lucky to have his support. But I know how futile it can feel to find something that is truly helping and then to have to give that up. Maybe a compromise could be made? Good luck and hope your road to recovery continues!!!
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