So called "Best Friend"

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by intheblue, Aug 21, 2010.

  1. intheblue

    intheblue New Member

    Last year I met my first and only friend in highschool. He was very nice and he would always ask me to help him with his problems. He claims he has issues with rejection and abandonment. He said he would never reject/abandon someone unless a dire circumstantial comes up. I didn't think about this too seriously at the time. Anyways at the end of that year he would always leave me to go play basketball. I took this as a sign of abandonment and I would lose trust in my "best friend" more and more everyday. At the last day I finally snapped, I gave him the cold shoulder and said good bye. During that summer he called me up and he asked for a second chance, and I gave it to him, bad mistake. So we made up and continued to hang out and I thought this would never happen again, I was wrong. School started on Tuesday and again he leaves me and goes and plays basketball... I MEAN ARE YOU SERIOUS?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!! This made me want to SCREAM!! Did I do something wrong?! I always did what I thought he wanted to do... Now I feel rejected, alone , angry, and stupid... Is my "best friend" being selfish?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your best friend abviously enjoy basketball give him some space okay let him have some freedom he remains kind to you let him have his unwinding time playing ball he is not abandoning or rejection you he is having some fun time for him You should be happy he is.
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Maybe because this guy is your 'first friend' you are over-thinking this situation.
    To me, it seems like he really likes basketball. He's not running off to play because he doesn't like you or he's bored or he's abandoning you- but it's something he likes.
    If there's one thing I know about teenage guys; it's that they tend to not think very much before they do something.
    All he's thinking about is: "oh, hey! A ball!!"

    You could try playing with him, maybe? If you hate sports though, maybe you could ask him to hang out and talk for a bit- or suggest doing something else?
    I'm pretty sure he doesn't do it because he dislikes you.
    Just try to remember that you're in highschool... and people do things without thinking *all the time*
    If you think about it too much, you'll drive yourself crazy with all of the negative possibilities. < I do the same thing, so I kind of understand where you're coming from.>

    I felt stupid and lonely sometimes when my friends would all go off and do different things without me. You shouldn't feel stupid though. You're guaranteed to not be the only kid in school who is alone, you know?
    2 things you can try if you can't stand being alone... maybe try to make another friend? You did it once, right- you can do it again! You can join a club or some sort of activity; like he has his basketball- you can have something of your own too. Clubs are very often much more welcoming than you might expect- when you're lonely. You might just be able to find something you enjoy doing; and gain some more friends while you're at it.

    It's hard, really.
    Highschool is pretty damn hard. You can do it though. It just takes some effort... and not too much thinking. XD
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2010
  4. CalifradMT

    CalifradMT Member

    I have to ask, does he get up in the middle of something, and walk off, stating over his shoulder, "I am going to the basketball court." like an unfinished sentence? game. I think it would be alright if he wanted to play basketball but if you sense your friend is actually making a decision to do something without you, rather than making a decision to play basketball, i can see why you may feel abandoned. it's all in the timing, I would say, how your friend leaves for the basketball court.

    Can you give more information about how the scenario plays out, please?